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I Miss My Dad

It's been a bit more then a month now, which is crazy. You fought so much to cling to life for those last 2 weeks that it was almost a relief when you died. You looked so peaceful and that fact has given me a lot of comfort. It's still strange to think that you're not here anymore. I can't just go visit you and see your eyes light up when you see me. I miss you so much!
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I think the worst of losing a parent (assuming they were a parent worthy of the name) is the feeling of being anchorless on this wide wide sea of life. The best parents will tell you if you are doing wrong or dangerous things, but there is never doubt that when the chips are down, they are in your corner 100%.

When they die, there's a terrifying tealization that now you are the grownup and emotionally hardly anybody is ready for that.