I Hate Myself More Than Anyone Could Ever Hate Me
Pretty disgusted with myself right now. My physical body, so many people call it pretty and beautiful. But I can’t allow myself to see it. But whats truly hideous about me is my mental state, I’m all over the place, one moment I’ll be the most calm and collective person in the room, the next moment I’ll be in emotional wreck filled with hate and anger wanting to hurt everything and everyone around me.
So many years have passed so many seconds have just ticked by, I’m no closer to making any friends, or having anybody to love me, then again also finding anyone that I myself love.
Life is truly about ups and downs but it’s horrifying when you’re up is so high and your lows are so low. I can’t take it, I feel like I’m being torn apart and I can’t help but be disgusted that after so much time has passed I should be better than this but I’m not. No friends, no loving relationships, no family, I have nothing all the while I live in a horribly toxic environment that tears me down all day everyday.
So many years have passed so many seconds have just ticked by, I’m no closer to making any friends, or having anybody to love me, then again also finding anyone that I myself love.
Life is truly about ups and downs but it’s horrifying when you’re up is so high and your lows are so low. I can’t take it, I feel like I’m being torn apart and I can’t help but be disgusted that after so much time has passed I should be better than this but I’m not. No friends, no loving relationships, no family, I have nothing all the while I live in a horribly toxic environment that tears me down all day everyday.
