I Think It's Time to Move On
NO, THIS TIME AROUND IT FELT REAL. BECAUSE FOR THE LAST FEW YEARS I HAVE FELT UTTER ANGER AT MY MOM. BUT TONIGHT, I LET THAT GO AND JUST LET THE SADNESS OVERWHELM ME, AND RIGHT AFTER WORK I FOUND A BENCH AND I JUST BAWLED MY EYES OUT.
I MADE MYSELF PROMISE THAT I WOULDN'T GIVE HER ANY MORE ATTITUDE BECAUSE SHE'S NEVER GOING TO KNOW ANY BETTER. IT'S LIKE GETTING ON A BLIND HORSE AND EXPECTING IT TO LEAD YOU SOMEWHERE. IT'S STUPID AND NOT GONA HAPPEN. ANYWAY. AFTER MY OUTBURST AFTER WORK, I FACED HER FOR THE FIRST TONIGHT. I DIND'T SAY ANYTHING. I JUST ALLOWED MYSELF TO TAKE HER IN. HER EMPTY EYES, HER FATIGUED FACE FROM WORK, JUST HER. AND I JUST FELT PITY, WHETHER FOR HER OR FOR ME. MAYBE IT WAS FOR THE BOTH OF US. BECAUSE I CAME TO TERMS THAT MY ANGER ISN'T GOING TO GET ME ANYWHERE. GROWING UP AT THIS POINT ISN'T ABOUT JUST SEEING THE PROBLEM. I ALWAYS KNEW THERE WAS A PROBLEM. THE NEXT STEP NOW IS TO FIND IT IN ME TO FORGIVE THE BLIND HORSE AND TELL IT HOW MUCH OF A GREAT HORSE IT'S BEEN.
I MADE MYSELF PROMISE THAT I WOULDN'T GIVE HER ANY MORE ATTITUDE BECAUSE SHE'S NEVER GOING TO KNOW ANY BETTER. IT'S LIKE GETTING ON A BLIND HORSE AND EXPECTING IT TO LEAD YOU SOMEWHERE. IT'S STUPID AND NOT GONA HAPPEN. ANYWAY. AFTER MY OUTBURST AFTER WORK, I FACED HER FOR THE FIRST TONIGHT. I DIND'T SAY ANYTHING. I JUST ALLOWED MYSELF TO TAKE HER IN. HER EMPTY EYES, HER FATIGUED FACE FROM WORK, JUST HER. AND I JUST FELT PITY, WHETHER FOR HER OR FOR ME. MAYBE IT WAS FOR THE BOTH OF US. BECAUSE I CAME TO TERMS THAT MY ANGER ISN'T GOING TO GET ME ANYWHERE. GROWING UP AT THIS POINT ISN'T ABOUT JUST SEEING THE PROBLEM. I ALWAYS KNEW THERE WAS A PROBLEM. THE NEXT STEP NOW IS TO FIND IT IN ME TO FORGIVE THE BLIND HORSE AND TELL IT HOW MUCH OF A GREAT HORSE IT'S BEEN.
26-30, M