I Used to Self Harm

It's kind of funny to me that every time I get to this point I just want to turn back to my old ways. Every once in a while I naively believe that someone in my life would notice that something isn't right and then maybe I would have someone I could confide in, but that is never the case. Over the years I have become very aware that the only person who I have is myself and honestly, that means nothing because I hate myself, so really I have no one and nothing. I've been trying to recover from self harm, and I have actually been doing half decent with it. In reality though, I know I'm headed toward a relapse though, because what is the point of even trying to stop this, I feel nothing, I never feel anything. Cutting is the only thing that lets me feel anything at all, so why take away the only thing I have left here. What's the point of any of this anyways.

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Chaoshead · 22-25, M

A word of advice from someone who use to do it (I guess multiple words would be more correct 🤔), don't degrade yourself. I doubt you hate yourself, very few people actually do. You're probably not an amazing person but not a horrible one either.

Don't look at the world from extremes. You're probably not alone, but you just might not have found the person to confide in on the most basic and sentimental levels. Very few people find that person, and when they do, it's rarely for perpetuity.

Cutting is a way from running away from problems and often a tool to feel vindicated and powerful. It's weak and counterproductive. Now, I'm not saying don't criticize yourself, just do it constructively and within the realm of reality. Create goals to both improve your life and character, that will be (in your hardest times) the greatest tool to progress your moral, mental and emotional development. That's what I think at least.

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