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I Am About To Breakdown, Just Cry Till I Can't Cry Anymore

Nothing seems to work anymore. I keep fighting with all I have but it's no longer enough. I can't do this anymore...

I'm letting everyone down. My friends, my family and most importantly, the one I love. I'm about to lose them all and there is nothing I can do to stop any of it from happening. I keep begging and crying and praying to a God I barely believe in anymore but nothing ever changes.

I feel so close to the edge and there is no one there to pull me back. I feel so alone all the time. There is ony one person that can chace away these feelings but I am at the edge of losing her too...
I just wish thst for once I was someone worth fighting for. Instead, I will lose everything.

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ArnoldJRimmer

you still make more of a difference than you know. it seems hard and without reward at times...but often you are that single thread that gives just enough that things can come together again

themanoflegends · 31-35, M

I can't help anyone. Not even the person that means more to me then my own life.

tiredofNTabuse

I felt exactly like that when my first husband was getting progressively worse with seizures then started going unconscious. Eventually he died because I kept taking him to the hospital and they kept sending him home. The last time he was hospitalized they said he had encephalitis on the left side of his brain. They sent him home with no medicine or anything and he died 3 days later in his sleep next to me in our bed. I still carry that guilt around that maybe there was something I could have done differently to save him. So I still feel like a jinx 10 years later and I still feel like I deserve nothing in life. And that I deserve every horrible thing that happens to me. But that's just how I feel. Reality is that I am not a Dr and there was nothing I could do. It took me 10 years to even consider the fact that it wasn't my fault. So maybe you shouldn't be so hard on yourself!! I hope you feel better!!

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