I Love Stupid Jokes

A couple of bar jokes for you:

- A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
- An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
- Two quotation marks walk into a "bar".
- A question mark walks into a bar?
- Arial and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out, we don't serve your type."
- A synonym strolls into a tavern.
- At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar, fresh as a daisy and cute as a button.
- A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.
- A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
- The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

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PhoenixPhail · M

- An infectious disease enters a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind in here." The infectious disease replies, "Well, you're not a very good host."

- A neutrino walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Can I help you?" The neutrino says, "No, I'm just passing through."

- Two bacteria walk into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve bacteria here." The bacteria say, "But we work here. We're staph."

- A virus walks into a bar. The bartender says. "We don't serve viruses here." So the virus infects the bartender and says, "Now you do."

- A man walks into a bar with a set of jumper cables. The bartender says, "Don't start anything."

- A termite walks into a bar and says, "Is the bar tender here?"

- A man walks into a bar carrying a large piece of asphalt. He says, "One for me and one for the road."

- A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

- A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Gimme a beer, and a mop."

- Louie Armstong walks into a bar in Tibet where the high priest is the bartender. Louis says, "Hello, Dahli!"

- a horse walks into a bar and sits on a bar stool. The bartender says, "So, what's with the long face?"

- A Russian spy, a sexual predator, and a billionaire walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get you, Mr. President?"

hunkalove · 61-69, M

Most people here aren't going to have the slightest idea what any of that means.

SW-User

@hunkalove Some may be a little difficult, but I'm sure most people know what a question mark, quotation mark or synonym is.

hunkalove · 61-69, M

@SW-User I wouldn't count on it.

SW-User

@hunkalove People who don't understand a single one can simply scroll on.

PhoenixPhail · M

- Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?"

-Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Would you like a beer?" Descartes replies, "I think not", then disappeared.

- An amnesiac comes into a bar. He asks, "Do I come here often?"

- A cable TV installer walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "You'll be served sometime between 7 and 2."

- A lesbian walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "We have a new liquor in today!" The lesbian says, "That's great! I'd love to meet her!"

PhoenixPhail · M

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and doesn't.

BoobooSnafu

@PhoenixPhail..... Hehehehe... I can imagine the look on people's faces with this one!!! '
😁🤣😆😁🤣😆😆

PhoenixPhail · M

@BoobooSnafu Only on the faces of the people who know what Schrodinger's cat is. If they don't, I get the deer-in-the-headlights look.

BoobooSnafu

@PhoenixPhail it's the latter that I'm thinking of!!!😁😆🤣

That stunned mullet look!😂

KidAzazel · 26-30

The dad level humor is strong with this post

BoobooSnafu

The last one!!!!!!!

LOVE IT!!''😁🤣😆😁🤣😆

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