I Just Realized
Last night I had sort of a epifanny moment. I was walking to one of my usual liquor stores. I went in and grabbed my usual. Card declined. I tried again. Declined. I step away to check my balance and it wasn't looking good. I could only afford a few tiny bottles of liquor. You know the dirt cheap tiny ones. That's what I got instead. I saw a man and a woman in there with me. Both older I'd put them near 60 paying with a bunch of odd change. I'm familiar with them as I see them here all the time. They get as many of those natty ices as they can. Said hey and left.
I went to the back of the store by the dumpsters hidden from view and began drinking. I didn't care. Hell earlier that day I was drinking some little bottle of wine in some bushes. Got caught by a guy but he was cool.
Anyway I continue to walk down the road and outside the laundromat on a bench was the woman I saw in the store drinking her beer clearly sloshed.
When I saw her like that I had a moment. That's me. That is exactly me. Made me feel sad. I guess I finally saw what everyone else does. Sad old drunk.
I'm serious this time for stopping. Having talked with a certain person here also gave me a kick in the ass I needed.
I went to the back of the store by the dumpsters hidden from view and began drinking. I didn't care. Hell earlier that day I was drinking some little bottle of wine in some bushes. Got caught by a guy but he was cool.
Anyway I continue to walk down the road and outside the laundromat on a bench was the woman I saw in the store drinking her beer clearly sloshed.
When I saw her like that I had a moment. That's me. That is exactly me. Made me feel sad. I guess I finally saw what everyone else does. Sad old drunk.
I'm serious this time for stopping. Having talked with a certain person here also gave me a kick in the ass I needed.
56-60, M