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I Don't Know How to Break Down My Defensive Wall

It's rare that I actually have anything serious to ask, but i'm sort of lost on this one.
I've been through a lot in life and i'm a strong person from it, but recently i've realised I find it difficult to feel compassion for others. My actions are compassionate as my values are that way, but I used to be able to feel emotions very strongly. I think i've got very strong defence mechanisms, if people feel peaks and valleys i feel mostly flat, i'm not depressed though at all.

So the question is, how do you get in touch with your emotions again?/what did you do to help that?.

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MarkPaul · 26-30, M

You have to break through the wall you have built. It's not easy and it's not fast. It starts by getting past the denial there is a wall.

Ryannnnnn · 31-35, M

@MarkPaul Agreed, i'm aware I do but i'm not sure how to go about it.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@Ryannnnnn It's a mental process, mostly. You literally have to chip away at it. And, then you need to test it by letting the emotions out. That is clearly the hardest part because after repressing them for so long, you won't know exactly how to handle them; they almost become an entity of themselves... a "dark passenger" in a sense. And, you will confronting things you convinced yourself didn't matter from the past, now suddenly hitting you in real-time. After all that, and again it's not a fast or easy process, then the real challenge is next... facing the real-world without the wall and possibly finding the foundation of the wall is still there.

Ryannnnnn · 31-35, M

@MarkPaul You're right, funny you'd refer to it as a dark passenger as that's Jung's concept of the shadow self.
I did manage to let a bit out a few months ago and it was very intense, but I could laugh again after it.

Just gotta sit down and focus on it I suppose. Good advice 👍️