I Don't Date
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I Don't Date because...

I'm fat, boring, jobless, plain looking, have poor social skills, don't know how to respond to conversations, have a hard time connecting, and horrible at keeping friends, and staying in touch. Other than that, I suffer from depression, and anxiety, and tend to overthink a lot plus I'm asexual. All I do these days is get stuck on the internet, and playing video games, very unmotivated to do anything, and binge eat my feelings away. I've been living in a hole I can't seem to get out of no matter how hard I try...life is too cruel to me in the past that's why I'm stuck the way I am. There are days that I just stay in bed, and want everything to end.

My family is right, I guess I really am undateable. At least I'll save people from someone like me...I'm destined to be alone.
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Those are choices
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Max13 · 26-30, M
All you require is a loving heart , then you can become anything for any person .
[@1211871,Max13] not true but most people can do something well..or other

Even I can show schizophrenics how to feel real and I can make a bed

that theoretically gives me some choice, and setting is a key element too.

we can always choose to die too.

Max13 · 26-30, M
[@1118414,SoapOperaglasses] It is true for good people .
What is schizophenics ? That is good you can make furniture .
[@1211871,Max13] look it up... and placing sheets is not carprenty

but its a mad word 4 sure😝
Gangstress · 36-40, F
reading this, it seems this is the way you want to be without wanting the change for yourself

I have a gf. but that doesn't mean I rely on her to provide me happiness, it starts within, I also have PTSD, clinical depression and social anxiety.

I will never stop myself from enjoying life like others, and I urge you to do the same, this is your time to be the change you want,

The only person that can hold your dream back is yourself.

If you want change you will do just that.
bittersweethermit · 31-35, F
[@467717,Gangstress] I agree but I don't want to change the whole me by faking it in order to attract people...that's just not me. And sometimes depression, and anxiety is extremely crippling. One day you feel motivated, then you're in the darkest pits the next. It's hard to live everyday for me.
Gangstress · 36-40, F
[@490934,bittersweethermit] what will you be faking?
bittersweethermit · 31-35, F
[@467717,Gangstress] Like, my personality just to get people to like me. I've tried that before, and it went ugly fast. I just can't stomach it. I want to stay true to myself, even if people will judge me.
Beatbox34 · 26-30, M
Screw the world. I know what you meant by those words.

I'm deemed ugly by people. But who cares? I've been told on more than one occasion that I'm ugly. I just focus my life on better stuff. To the right person, appearance won't matter. Another thing, looks eventually fade. In time I hope you find the right one. I'm looking for her too and maybe I'll find her. Even if I don't, it's okay. I'll put my efforts to those who need it.
[@476293,Beatbox34] hey hermit as well... soon your whole body and life will fade so

make the most of it now. what choice do u have? maximize your strengths and work from there, be original. best I've got.
Noni33 · 31-35, F
[@476293,Beatbox34] That's the spirit
OldMan70 · 70-79, M
I've seduced several much older women than you who described themselves in similar ways.
The fact that you feel you are asexual is because you have not met the right men (or woman) yet who can stimulate you and help you to blossom and open up to a new you..
Be open (and honest - like you are here) with potential suitors and allow them to try to help you to become happy with yourself and your life.

No woman is undateable. It's all about finding the right partner for you.
bittersweethermit · 31-35, F
[@1154134,OldMan70] I'm asexual because I don't like the act of sex. I'm all for the pleasure but I'm repulsed by the act itself, that's why I've never done it. And I've tried being honest, and open to people but society has its standards of what's acceptable, or not.
OldMan70 · 70-79, M
[@490934,bittersweethermit] You are a rare find, and made me think hard about your comfortable position in life.
If you want companionship and intimate love without penetration sex involved,
find an older man with erectile dysfunction to live with as a partner in life.
I have ED and can attest that they are Beta-Males and not aggressive or assertive sexually. They are resolved to the fact that they can no longer perform - like a man - sexually and simply do not go there EVER..

I found two groups here on SW where you can look through the membership and chat with men who are at peace with their ED and not trying to prove anything sexually.

twenty three members
seven members
you know my big fear with asexuals isn't so much I wouldn't ever date an ace because romance mattters to me a lot it's more last time I tried she got under my skin and drove a wedge between us by getting pissed off I gave her too many hugs and I was just like ok file this under doesn't want to be touched at all in any context I'm the fuck up out of here because I can't get my needs met at all.

even if I could go without the sex the lack of a cuddle bunny at the very least is basically fatal.
[@490934,bittersweethermit] https://voca.ro/1mC0CES8xw7S
bittersweethermit · 31-35, F
[@10406,BetweenKittensandRiots] I hope you have help with your PTSD...mental health is very important. Sorry if I made you share, and brought back bad memories for you. I didn't mean to :(
[@490934,bittersweethermit] Ehhh It's over. Lyssa chan is best damn thing I mean honest the way that everything all righted itself in the end was quite beautiful really.

Kendall which was her name was like litterally one of maybe 2 I was actually the one to leave though. It's -very- rare.

It was just a sudden realization we were at each others throats and there were differences that were just -not- going to be overcome.

and plus I was already -under- my fathers abusive roof so it was like This fighting is familiar already I'm not really looking to replicate getting screamed at all the time. it's familiar- I don't need to relive it to fix it, I gave up on that a long time ago.

Ill put up with a lot but being a girls punching bag? I'm not really here to help with that.

She had plenty of people who were willing anyways. some relationships turn out like broken glass it's better to just leave it than cut yourself trying to put it back together.

I don't like being the one to give up usually... I'm stubborn as fuck.... once mind is made it takes an awful lot to get me to give up on someone which is kind of -part- of my problem. I'm not usually eager or willing to do it.

which means if it happens at all 9/10 times the girl is the one to leave me.
AnthroKenji · 31-35, M
I’m sorry you’re suffering. That all sounds so horrible.

However, you’re already therapy sessions ahead and aware of yourself and the things you want to change.

Don’t change em all at once.

Start with one thing at a time. Put on foot in front of the other and move.

Not to say you don’t need some assistance, but it’s ultimately up to you to carry that weight.
bittersweethermit · 31-35, F
[@1132763,AnthroKenji] Been trying for years, and have been carrying that weight for like forever. Depression and anxiety go hand in hand...one day you're motivated to do stuff, then you're in a hell hole the next. It's been up and down for me. It's extremely hard, and I'm stuck.
AnthroKenji · 31-35, M
[@490934,bittersweethermit] Well
Motivation isn’t something that just develops and stays it takes work. You’re stuck and you know it. Seek help to get unstuck, unstuck yourself or stay stuck.

Some people aren’t even aware of any of this.
WonderGirl · 41-45, F
I don't date because I like being alone. I see friends sometimes.
bittersweethermit · 31-35, F
[@498097,WonderGirl] I like being alone too! But it's nice to get invited once in a while you know? Like you know someone still cares about your existence, and thinks about you...but alas, I don't have friends.
WonderGirl · 41-45, F
[@490934,bittersweethermit] I see friends as a group. For lunch or dinner sometimes. But never one person like a date.
[@490934,bittersweethermit] re not having friends, see my response up the page, making friends is another realistic potential benefit.
what work do u do??
[@490934,bittersweethermit] well get into another one

over and out!🤠
[@1118414,SoapOperaglasses] Very similar to me. I am not fat but ugly. I love playing video games. But last when I didn't had job I tried to make my habits better. I miss freedom :)
[@1158409,littlepuppywantanewlife] well go create some inside u
Noni33 · 31-35, F
Girl ,If you are not undateable then I'm unlivable ! Like people find difficulty living with someone like me , but yknow what ! I DONT CARE!
It's your life don't live it by waiting to be accepted by others.
Start loving and respecting yourself , that' more valuable than anything.
bittersweethermit · 31-35, F
[@401865,Noni33] That's true. Thanks for the advice :)
Noni33 · 31-35, F
🤍Anytime [@490934,bittersweethermit]
Have you tried getting involved in some kind of volunteer work or helping others? Finding a purpose in doing that can often help the one giving the help as much as it does the helped and it can certainly be an effective antidote for depression and feelings of lack of self worth.
bittersweethermit · 31-35, F
[@15534,TopOfTheWorld] I used to volunteer, and it was very rewarding. I didn't get money from it but volunteering in a soup kitchen, feeding the poor was fulfilling...it's the first time I felt like my life had purpose. But my toxic family were unsupportive, and wanted me to focus on getting a job so I can be useful to them...I was forced to take jobs that they want me to take because it was good opportunity, despite me not liking those jobs, only to be repeatedly rejected. That's when my depression started to take over my life.
[@490934,bittersweethermit] im sorry to hear that , its very harsh on you . Maybe there's a possibility to do the soup kitchen work you found rewarding again?
bittersweethermit · 31-35, F
[@15534,TopOfTheWorld] I've been pondering about that lately but they've been very strict here about covid, and social distancing. I'm just waiting for it to die down a bit then I'll consider that opportunity again.
TheCoolestCat · 31-35, M
hey cut out the fat bit and thats me, i still date though lol
bittersweethermit · 31-35, F
[@335784,TheCoolestCat] Good for you :)
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Justmerae · 51-55, F
If you are in United States and have medicade you should qualify for some mental health services.
See if you have a community mental health clinic in your era.
Life can change I am living proof.
bittersweethermit · 31-35, F
[@2144,Justmerae] I live in Canada but thanks for the info!

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