I Have Lots On My Mind

P9 - I Hate This Feeling Of Having No Where To Turn... I hate this feeling of feeling like I have no where to turn. Irritated not only with my sister but the husband as well. He thinks I vent too much about her. I vent because I need to let out some steam. If I don't vent, then I keep things in and feelings remain inside of me to fluster. I don't know what to do anymore. I am irritated with the laziness that my sister possesses but I am just as irritated to the lack of "backbone" that my husband has. I see everyone around me. I see their will to accomplish things and their determination to reach goals. I see how they stand up for themselves and how brave they are. I see myself as an opinionated strong-willed and independent woman. I am small but I can defend myself with words. I want a partner who is also as strong and can walk alongside with me, not trailing behind me, hiding in my shadows. Maybe I'm just frustrated. Maybe I just feel like no one is understanding my side. Or not seeing where I'm coming from. I don't know. Well, getting hungry and I need to get back to doing homework. I guess this will be "to be continued" just like all of my other previous posts...