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I Have Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I would not wish this on anyone. I hate myself. I hate that I can't be perfect. I hate that I can't accept that no one is perfect. Body dismorphia is torture. I think I am fat when I am barely 100 lbs. thankfully I am not anorexic. I've had moments. I think I am ugly with my acne prone uneven skin at 23 and it just isn't fair that I keep struggling with it. I go NOWHERE without makeup. I would have a breakdown because of my acne I am disgusted by it. It's not even cystic or severe but to me it's hideous. This is just my latest obsession. I convinced myself I had cellulite last year when there was nothing there. I want so badly to talk to someone who has these same issues. If you don't live with this disease you can't understand. I look in the mirror every day and pick myself apart. I've tried counciling.....they don't get it. How do I let go of these thoughts? They consume and control my life. I want to be free

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Tatsumi · 31-35, M

Sounds tough. Good luck. If you really want it, you can find a way to fix your perception. Imo, if you want to let go of those thoughts, you need to understand what they are motivated by. Where does this need for perfection come from? Why is it so strong? What in your past has made you think this way?

Where does this desire come from? How can you let go of the desire for perfection?

As the Buddhist's Four Noble Truth's say: life is pain. And the source of that pain is desire. Manage your desire, and you manage your pain.

To me. It is simply a faulty thought process. We are all quite prone to them. With enough thought, it can be reversed. That's what I believe.

As for councilors. There are a lot of bad ones. Or, as you say, ones that simply do not understand. If you continue trying new ones, you will eventually find one that can help--if only a bit. One will eventually be able to help you work through these questions. But, no one can fix you. You are the only one who can do that. If you want to be free bad enough, you will obtain freedom.