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I Have Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I would not wish this on anyone. I hate myself. I hate that I can't be perfect. I hate that I can't accept that no one is perfect. Body dismorphia is torture. I think I am fat when I am barely 100 lbs. thankfully I am not anorexic. I've had moments. I think I am ugly with my acne prone uneven skin at 23 and it just isn't fair that I keep struggling with it. I go NOWHERE without makeup. I would have a breakdown because of my acne I am disgusted by it. It's not even cystic or severe but to me it's hideous. This is just my latest obsession. I convinced myself I had cellulite last year when there was nothing there. I want so badly to talk to someone who has these same issues. If you don't live with this disease you can't understand. I look in the mirror every day and pick myself apart. I've tried counciling.....they don't get it. How do I let go of these thoughts? They consume and control my life. I want to be free

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ruzgar · 22-25

I had that..i think.Self-hate is hard and you can't just get rid of those thoughts,i know that.But i would still recommend professional help.Not all doctors are gonna be good at their job!Well,actually i feel like many of them just waste your time because they want 💰.Even good ones can't just magically cure you,they can just help you with recovery and learning coping skills.Remember that.And recovery will be painful and it might feel like you are just taking 1 step forward,99999 steps back at first 😬...Also books about self love(i can lend you mine 📚) can be helpful and maybe some instagram accounts about BoPo(body positivity)&self-acceptence.Cuz they are very inspiring/supportive and you can meet people like you.Which is good,cuz you won't feel alone

SW-User

Did you have one thing you struggled with majorly at a time @ghostdolly:

ruzgar · 22-25

Self hate and bulimia.Both were very hard to live with

SW-User

So it was thinking you were overweight that you struggled with? @ghostdolly:

ruzgar · 22-25

Umm well yeah,but its much more serious than that

SW-User

Oh of course it is it's horrible

ruzgar · 22-25

If you ever need to talk,i am here.Even though i am not a good listener at all,but i will try