I changed my last name.

I changed it from my adopted parents’ name to my biological parents’ name.

It may not be much, but it means a lot to me right now. I’m proud of it and I have nobody to tell.

4meAndyou · F

It really is all about your feelings, because it is YOUR name, and they were YOUR biological parents.

I helped the third ex with a slightly different situation. He was born out of wedlock, his mother married his step-father, and concealed from him that he was not the step-father's child. The step-father never adopted him, and he found out by accident that all of his school records were under his step-father's name, but his birth record was not. He went to the registry of motor vehicles to get his driver's license, and no one could find his birth record.

He went to his mother to try to find out why, and she never did answer him. She just burst into tears. Her shame was apparently far greater than her love for anyone but herself.

I have never seen anything mess up anyone's head the way it messed with his, thinking that everyone he knew and loved had lied to him all his life, and I guided him through the process of legally changing his name to that of his step-father...who was actually nasty enough to be suspicious about his step-son's motives...at first.

I have kept that last name, so I think of it often.

BriBro · 22-25, F

@4meAndyou Thank you for sharing. I’ve never met my bio parents. The last part of your story is pretty much why I don’t want to. I’ve dreamed and daydreamed about them being perfect for my entire life and I don’t want to have those expectations shattered.

4meAndyou · F

@BriBro If you ever did meet them, you would get an enormous shock, as everyone does when they have grown up and realize their parents were humans, with flaws, and issues, and they are never, ever perfect. My own son has a problem with that. It is far easier to blame a parent for your own problems and sadness than it is to grow and change. Growth and change really, really HURTS. 😞