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I Want to Be Understood By Just One Person

It seems no matter where I've been, school, church, even summers at camp, always feel like an outsider. I feel like there is barrier between me and others and though we can come close there can never be any real contact. I feel like no one gets me and everytime I'm with someone I can pretty much garantee that we won't be talking about what I want to talk about. Or if I'm with a group I always do what everyone else wants to do. It feels lonely because I always think. What about me? When will someone try for me? In my head I'm not that bad but maybe I'm unbearable to be around in actuality. I don't know. I'm just tired of experiencing life like this. I wake up in the morning everyday and wonder if today will be different. I feel so isolated. I've been living on my own ever since I turned 18. Where is everyone? Lately I have just been excepting everything, going to work and watching my co workers socialize without me, giving me occasional glances and forced smiles so I know I'm still part of the group.

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Tatsumi · 31-35, M

Hate to say it, but no one can ever truly understand you. No one does get you. In order to truly understand you, they would have to share all or most of your experiences, with your genetic predispositions to those experiences. This is impossible, so no one can ever truly know anyone. What you're missing, imo, isn't understanding, but companionship.

Stop wondering. Start doing. [b]MAKE[/b] today a different day. Find what the problem is, and create a solution. Write down a set of goals: short, mid, long. Then write out the steps you want to take to achieve those goals. Seriously. Otherwise, you're just reacting and dwelling. I have a lot of experience with that.

Fixedkid · 26-30, M

You are right there are things that I can do to make the situation better. I feel like In relationships for some it's not as easy as just writing goals and trying hard. People give 100% in relationships and the other person can give 0. I really do believe I have given it an honest shot and I continue to try hard each day. But you have a point I guess I'm more looking for the common ground I see that my friends have with each other than just total understanding

Tatsumi · 31-35, M

@Fixedkid: This is true. Some people are just naturally charismatic or people are just naturally drawn to them. On the same hand, however, some people are naturally gifted at math. But that doesn't mean that someone who is horrible at math can't become good at it, right? They might not be able to take it as far as one who is naturally gifted at math, but they could still become very proficient with math. I think the same is true of socializing.

I do have a tendency to nitpick wording, heh. I understand what you mean.

Sometimes, if you are bored in a conversation, you can try to talk about what you want to talk about. Try to maneuver the conversation towards something you like. Once you show your passion for it, and if the others have passion for it, as well, it could create some of that common ground for you.

Then, you can also just make a suggestion to the group on something you want to do. If they don't like that idea, you can try a different one.

I'd also give you more advice you didn't ask for: I'd try to figure out what that barrier is that you feel is inhibiting yourself from becoming close with others. There is most likely a reason for it.

Just throwin' out things that might help. :)

Fixedkid · 26-30, M

@ColdPenguin: yea you said a lot of interesting things. I'm gonna give keep giving it a shot. Thanks for taking the time to reply with helpful advice :)

Tatsumi · 31-35, M

@Fixedkid: Cool. :) Np. I try.