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I Want to Be Understood By Just One Person

I Really Don't Know What To Say, I Am Depressed Confused, And Lonely...
Half the time I have no idea why i do what I do. I am lost, an outcast, have no friends anymore, and screwed up big time with the 1 person I did care about, I don't think she liked me like that either way but she was nice and we could have been friends possibly. But instead I was gutless and could not tell her how I felt so I did it while hiding behind a computer on myspace, I told her about my depression, and basically over time I was frustrated and took it out on her by sending her messages by pinning depression on her. I have done too many things I regret to count for once I want to do something right and have people to support me that I can trust and talk to. I don't see that happening anytime soon so I want to die I have already attempted suicide once and went to hospital, urgent care, on meds and hole deal with therapist but it hasn't helped one bit. I want someone that can understand me but if I can't understand half the stuff I do how is someone going to understand me? I am reaching breaking point where I will attempt suicide again, but this time if I try I will make sure to die.
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mynewhate · 31-35, M