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I'm Too Nice

I'm sick of putting other people before myself, but I'm terrified not to.

I have but two friends in real life, and I only talk to one of them on a regular basis. I enjoy his company and all, but I feel like he puts pressure on me to hold him accountable for his work. We have an ecology lab together, and he's counting on me to hold his hand through the entire thing because he "feels sick and tired". That's his excuse every time we go to do work and end up not getting it done. He gets awesome marks even though he puts little to no effort into his education. Not paying attention in class, not getting work in on time, not bothering to seek help from the professor when he needs it... He even has a full ride scholarship. He takes everything for granted and he's never punished for it.

I've expressed my frustration with his behavior before and he acts like all I ever do is attack him. He was like this back in high school too, but he's never seen anything wrong with his behavior. If I stop being friends with him, I'll be entirely alone. I don't know if I can handle that.

Just venting.
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SW-User
I'm not in the position to give you the best advice as I'm someone who prefers toxic relationships over no relationships. I simply cannot stand being alone, and I don't have enough self love to think I'm better than abuse, but I always communicate my feelings. How they treat them is entirely up to them. I don't think I'll ever respect myself enough to think I'm better than people, or enjoy my own company, but I do know that I wouldn't give my time to people I cannot respect or find love for. The only people who have the power to put me down or I'll submit my happiness to are the ones I choose to love. If they're not worth that, then I don't give it to them. You should only have affection for people who deserve it.
SoundHound · 56-60, M
it seems he values the friendship a bit different than you do. He's kinda taking advantage of you in some aspects. Is this a true friendship you seek?
SoundHound · 56-60, M
@aiyana: and what if he won't? Don't give in to his shit in worry that he won't be a friend anymore. He's really being a jerk if that were to happen
SW-User
I don't know
SoundHound · 56-60, M
@aiyana: just be careful is all I'm saying Aiyana and make him do his own damn work
Dang... I wish I was there with you.
tynamite · 31-35, M
But what if you're wrong and he is working hard?
SW-User
Then why does he play The Binding of Isaac while the professor is lecturing in our organic chemistry and ecology courses? I sit right next to him. 🙄
tynamite · 31-35, M
You can't make someone change who doesn't want to change.
BearDownChicago · 41-45, M
Vent away. In school I had friends and classmates the same way. Frustrating as hell. And you cannot get away from your nature of being a good person. You'll be better off being the caring person and putting others first.
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