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I Dont Hate My Dad But I Cant Forgive Him

My dad died recently. But I didn’t cry or feel putty for him. He was a drug addict and that was the death of him. But that wasn’t why I don’t like him. He wasn’t there for me. It’s not that he walked out on us, it was the opposite. I was around 7 when he first got big on drugs, soon after my mom took me and my sister and moved out of the CPT and to San Francisco. But what pisses me off about him is that in the note he left me after he died saying that he wishes he was there for me and tried to find me. He had 7 years to try and find me it wasn’t that hard. We were in the phone book. I was on instagram. I even wrote him some letters. But got no reply. I can’t forgive him for that. I needed a dad and the closest thing I got was my step dad. I do hate him. And he hates me. He beats my ass with his belt a lot. And barely ever lays a finger on his kids. Even though i like not being broke. I enjoy having a real dad who cared for me. But then again he didn’t care for me enough to try and make contact with me

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kyky16 · 22-25, F

Im sorry you are going trough this. I went through something similar in the way that I didn’t have a father and I needed one. I still don’t but it’s okay lol. My advise is honestly idk. I haven’t forgiven my dad but everyone is different. I guess you should talk to your mom about your step dad treating you differently

jonnyb123 · 18-21, M

@kyky16 oh I have and she just says “if you don’t want to get hit then show your father some respect”

kyky16 · 22-25, F

That’s stupid. I think it’s dumb when the biological parent says that. My cousin goes through the same thing. Her step dad is really hard on her and will spank her infront of people to embarrass her. But he won’t do that to his child. @jonnyb123

jonnyb123 · 18-21, M

@kyky16 my stepdad still does spank his children but just with his hand for very extreme circumstances. He spanks me with his hand for the slightest thing I get wrong, and if I get too many spankings then it’s the belt. It sucks

kyky16 · 22-25, F

Yea that is ridiculous. Luckily I was never really spanked. I just got yelled at and still do get yelled at. Hopefully when you move out they still don’t spank you. There’s a girl on here and she’s like 25 and has her own home and her dad and mom will still come to her house a spank her. @jonnyb123

jonnyb123 · 18-21, M

@kyky16 damn that is strict. I’m pretty sure that once I move out my step dad will want to have as little as possible to do with me

kyky16 · 22-25, F

Yea it kind of seems like that. Which is awful, you would think he would want to still have a relationship but it seems to me he might not want one after you leave@jonnyb123

jonnyb123 · 18-21, M

@kyky16 he wants me to go to college and get a job but that’s only so I don’t have to live with him

kyky16 · 22-25, F

Oh. What do you want though? I wouldn’t do anything that you don’t want in life. @jonnyb123

jonnyb123 · 18-21, M

@kyky16 yeah I don’t wanna stay in the same house as that asshole any longer than I have to

kyky16 · 22-25, F

Yea I feel that. Im ready to move out too@jonnyb123