I Hate Relationships

It was perfect. Him and me. Together. Everytime we spoke his words filled my heart with joy. Joy I never thought I'd feel again. Time after time I'd been beat, my heart shattered into pieces as the one thing that brought me real happiness was stolen from my grip. But yet I continued on, a broken and haunted soul, searching ceaselessly for hope. Anything that give me the faintest glimmer that maybe one day everything would turn out alright. Then you came along. We began to talk, and eventually our conversations became long and intimate. I saw me unravel in front of you, allowing you to delve deeper and deeper into who I am and what I stood for. And you accepted me as I was; or so it appeared. It was the perfect love story. I was finally saved from the dark depths of my tortured mind. But I should have known it was too good to be true. I should have seen the warnings. But I ignored every one of them; blinded by my peaceful bliss I only recieved when talking to him. Until one day, he came to me. I knew something was wrong. His manner just wasn't right. He told me he was leaving. For good. I stared, speechless, not believing it could be true. This couldn't happen again. Not so soon. I thought you loved me, I cried out in despair. Silence. Dead and utter silence. But no, it was only a cruel twist of fate. Lust, he says. Lust. A cruel, twisted thing that breaks the heart. The one word that could take my life away and send me back, into that spiraling abyss of hopelessness. For all I want is love. But I never had it, and I fear I never will. All of it is lust and that's all it'll ever be. No sane person could ever love a petty creature as me. So there I sit, in that dark abyss, my broken soul, just hoping someone will come along and save what's left of me.