I Admit That I'm Scared

So, a bit of backstory.
I lost my mom 4yrs ago, and it was the worst time of my life, and I still struggle with it.

Back in late July, my father had a heartattack. The doctors told him his liver was also failing, and he wasn't going to make it.
I couldnt eat for a little over a month,and had to use all my power to just get up to take care of my pets.
Thankfully, he beat all odds.
Now, recently I found out hes doing horrible, and he cant do anything anymore.

Its so heartbreaking, i've went to see him everytime I could since the heartattack, and plan to again asap. (He lives really far away)

When I chatted with him a few days ago, he started telling me what I would receive after his death, and honestly its grim to think about, but I think we both know he won't be here much longer.

Mentally, im a disaster. I don't know how well i'll be able too handle it, as im still struggling pretty extreme with my mom's passing sometimes. I have the most vivid worst nightmares about her, and have started having them about him.

His all I have left in life, and when I think about him passing, I recall my childhood memories, and all the goodtimes.
Im so scared.

Reject · 26-30, M

I think you're very lucky to have such a good relationship with your parents. People don't often think of it this way, but I believe it's fortunate to have something worth missing. That only means there was good in your life, gone now, but with happy memories not everyone gets.

MissScarlett · 31-35, F

@Reject I've had alot of up, and downs with them honestly. But they are my parents, they raised me, and where always there.
But, I completely understand what you're saying, and you're right.
Unfortunately, alot of kids cant say the same, and its horrible to think about.
Im happy i'll always have the memories at least. :) thank you!