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I Admit That I'm Scared

So, a bit of backstory.
I lost my mom 4yrs ago, and it was the worst time of my life, and I still struggle with it.

Back in late July, my father had a heartattack. The doctors told him his liver was also failing, and he wasn't going to make it.
I couldnt eat for a little over a month,and had to use all my power to just get up to take care of my pets.
Thankfully, he beat all odds.
Now, recently I found out hes doing horrible, and he cant do anything anymore.

Its so heartbreaking, i've went to see him everytime I could since the heartattack, and plan to again asap. (He lives really far away)

When I chatted with him a few days ago, he started telling me what I would receive after his death, and honestly its grim to think about, but I think we both know he won't be here much longer.

Mentally, im a disaster. I don't know how well i'll be able too handle it, as im still struggling pretty extreme with my mom's passing sometimes. I have the most vivid worst nightmares about her, and have started having them about him.

His all I have left in life, and when I think about him passing, I recall my childhood memories, and all the goodtimes.
Im so scared.
Spica · 31-35, F
I can relate to this a lot, except that my situation is reversed. Dad passed away two years ago and mom was diagnosed with a major heart disease last week. I wish you happiness.
MissScarlett · 31-35, F
@Spica Thank you, I really appreciate this. I know its not easy, and I wish you happiness as well!
Lustful · 36-40, M
So sorry to hear about what you’re going through. I lost my parents within a span of little less than a year and I still haven’t gotten over their loss. I pray that you can spend as much of your time as possible with your dad from now on. All you can do is take care of him as best as you can and cherish all the times and memories you have with him. Praying for your dad and your wellbeing.
MissScarlett · 31-35, F
@Lustful Thank you for your kind words. Im so very sorry to hear about your losses. =( thats extremely sad to hear, and I know its not easy.
Lustful · 36-40, M
@MissScarlett Thanks, I appreciate your reply. Yes, you are right. It’sbern very difficult to live life without having them :(
MissScarlett · 31-35, F
@Lustful Unfortunately life is so cruel at times. So difficult :(
I'm so sorry MissScarlett.. I'm here if you need a friend.. my mom many years ago was in very poor health, had almost 20 surgeries, had a aorta aneurysm. Was dire, dad looked be bad as we waited during surgery. She made it but a few days later dad died of a heart attack in ICU of a different hospital. We couldn't tell mom. I'd been in a wreck 3 weeks prior. Mom couldn't go to the funeral but we had a pastor tell her. So much more. My point is I'm here for you
MissScarlett · 31-35, F
@Itsmrsockmonkey Thank you, im here for you too if needed!
That is terrible! Im so, so sorry you, and your family had to go through that. :(
AngelKrish · 26-30, M
Ooh...I am also scared too I lost my Nana ji (father of my mother ) 2 years ago due to brain stroke and my dad got heart attack in September 2017 .
AngelKrish · 26-30, M
@MissScarlett can we be friends? If you like !
I know you are enough stronger as you faced hardest in your life but if you get one good friend with that then you can face anything easily ☺
As I am always supportive and helpful , I always motivate my friends!
MissScarlett · 31-35, F
@AngelKrish Sure, we can be friends.
AngelKrish · 26-30, M
@MissScarlett so you will receive my friend request right now just add me !
Reject · 26-30, M
I think you're very lucky to have such a good relationship with your parents. People don't often think of it this way, but I believe it's fortunate to have something worth missing. That only means there was good in your life, gone now, but with happy memories not everyone gets.
MissScarlett · 31-35, F
@Reject I've had alot of up, and downs with them honestly. But they are my parents, they raised me, and where always there.
But, I completely understand what you're saying, and you're right.
Unfortunately, alot of kids cant say the same, and its horrible to think about.
Im happy i'll always have the memories at least. :) thank you!
SW-User
You have your pets as well. You’ll never be alone in life.
SW-User
@MissScarlett I’m sure you’d figure something out.
MissScarlett · 31-35, F
@SW-User Im sure I will too, thank you again. :)
SW-User
@MissScarlett It is quite alright, love. Should you need me, I'll be here.
im sorry what you are going through that cant be easy. so young and have to deal with that.
MissScarlett · 31-35, F
@badapple Thank you! I appreciate your kind words. :)

 
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