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I Grew Up In Foster Care

I want to talk about your toughest challenge. We have mentioned how hard it is to maintain connections, due to the constant moving in foster care, even when you are able to find a good home.

I wonder though, now that we are out, what is the biggest challenge you face in what I like to call "the real world"

For me it is conversation. For example, let's say you are at a friends campfire. What are the most common topics of conversation? Siblings? Parents? Childhood memories?

It is human nature to try and find a common bond with the people we talk to, especially people we are meeting for the first time. I find it a challenge to jump in on conversations of this nature, because lets face it my childhood memories are a real buzz kill.

Now that I have my own family and children, I can at least add to those kinds of conversations, but most of the conversations I find either a black hole where there should be a memory or nothing I can really talk about.

So how about you? What is your biggest challenge?
Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F
I don't have the common denominator there because my family was the home where some kids came for refuge. I have fond memories of some of the kids and sadness when some of them were given back to their not so good families. My parents treated those kids just like they treated us. Did you ever bond with those in your foster family? I still call 2 of them my sisters and 2 my brothers. I hope that my sisters and brothers can at least hold on to the fun times we had playing in the woods or treehouse.
Ladyred · 46-50, F
@Fungirlmmm Thank you! This is awesome. I love hearing success stories like this.

I was fortunate enough to have my own story kind of like this. One of the group homes I was placed in, was a boys home. Now obviously it was only a temporary placement because well, I am not a boy! (:

I was terrified that I would surely be abused in some way being with all those boys, but it was just the opposite. They took me under their wing, protected me, taught me how to ride four wheelers and bale hay. The parents sat with me every night and talked about my day, and any feelings I may be having.

It was my first experience seeing what a true family could be like. I have held tightly to these memories over the years and as I continued to be bounced from home to home, I never forgot the kindness I was shown there.

You and your parents are an example of this and from me and all the foster kids, past and present, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts! 😌❤️
Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F
@Ladyred No thanks needed. My parents did what they were led to do and taught us lessons in kindness and compassion in doing so. Both myself and 2 siblings have been foster parents as adults. The legacy continues
Ladyred · 46-50, F
@Fungirlmmm yaaah!!
xixgun · M
My friend's family moved every 2 years the entirety of her life with them.
She was perpetually the new kid. Eventually, she stopped trying to make friends, because she knew she'd just leave them in 2 years (or less).
Then, her senior year of high school, her parents suddenly became interested in her life.
"Why don't you have friends? You never invite anyone over."
She has no "home town" or "place she grew up".
Her whole childhood is based on how old she was at the time.
"When I was this old, we lived here, when I was this old, we lived there..."
To the rest of the world she seems this bitchy, snobbish, aloof sort of bitch.
She's not. This is what it's like when you make your kid little more than baggage.
xixgun · M
@iamnikki This is always my viewpoint. A kid doesn't have to be sexually molested or beaten within an inch of their life to be abused.
iamnikki · 31-35, F
@xixgun true
Ladyred · 46-50, F
@xixgun There are many forms of abuse and the silent killers are especially deadly.
iamnikki · 31-35, F
I have the same issue. But i wasn't in foster care. Just missed out on socializAtion as a kid. Didn't get to goto parties or hang out with kids on the weekends. Missed out on conversational skills. Still paying for it
Ladyred · 46-50, F
@iamnikki Thank you for sharing that with us. I am sorry you suffer in this way, but please be assured you are not alone. (:
iamnikki · 31-35, F
@Ladyred thanks
This message was deleted by its author.
frenchstrictdad · 46-50, M
@geekie good you found best ones in the end

 
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