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I Want To Diee

I have great parents they brought me up well and i had a happy childhood up untill i was about 10 years old. In which i was sexually abused by a stranger in the changing rooms whilst was at the swimming pool with my school. I froze in fear when it happened and didnt tell anyone untill i was 22 when the love of my life and my son softened me up after years of anger and hatred.

A year later i lost them both in a car accident in which i found out by a phone call after being at work. My whole world fell apart. I took drugs and alcohol daily to try to numb the pain i built up thousands of pounds of debt, which now i am coming back around i am struggling to pay off and praying everynight that god takes me and sometimes even satan can take me just aslong as it ends.

I hate life and am switched off from everyone i come into contact with i'm sure there are many others who like me let the world believe that how i look to them is happy, full of life and confident when i actually am sad, alone and waiting for the end just know your not alone.

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EmptySmokeClouds

God i am so sorry for whats happened to you.. i thought that judging by your response to my story you were a happy enough person in your life, you seemed so confident and optimistic! I hope you recover fully one day, i know whats happened to you will never fully heal but i hope it gets better. I sincerely do. :) <3

Finster · 31-35, M

I have updated that one as i left out alot of details! I will never recover fully but like my updated one says i survived thanks to the help of my squad mates dont try to sort yourself on your own if your only getting worse or finding it hard to deal with things! You CAN get better you'll never forget somethings but you can still move with the rest of the world once you've accepted that whats happened has happened! I am confident and optimistic but only because thats what i have chosen to make myself! If you just accept the world is crap so you'll just be like the world is then you'll never get anywhere! But if you can bring yourself too see the good in the world! Then you can look for the moments when people amaze you with kidness for others and that their is hope for the world! I believe that their is soo many in the world trying to make things better! My love of my life showed me that and she is my inspiration and always will be! Once you've found yours you'll gain strength you never knew you had 😉

EmptySmokeClouds

Oh sorry, ill check your updated version! :) im glad you've overcome the first mental barrier! I'm getting there myself right now, the last few weeks have been good for me :) Thankyou again for this, you honestly fill me with so much hope that things can get better!! :)

Finster · 31-35, M

They sure can 😉 dont you dare give up with life you can be an inspiration to people when you figure it out! Lean on people when you need a rest 😉

ethereal101

It's tough, asI get older Im starting to see that everyone in this world is just trying to make it, no one has it alltigether

NoOrdinaryDork

I have the same feeling. Maybe we can get lucky and God will take us both.

candidcanine

Maybe we can get lucky and God will exist.

Yerbamate

Message me dude

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