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I Feel Like I Live A Weird Life

I don't know what it is. But have just got back together with my bf after he called a break between us. He went to live at his mum's for three or four weeks and hardly contacted me..we had been together for four months prior and were both experience issues then he took off and messaged me saying he wanted a break. I hated it, didn't agree thought he was leaving me for good.
We have just reconciled and he's only just back living with me. it's intense. We both really really love each other we both want to marry and have a child.
I do believe we are soulmates.
I have alot of work I have to do on myself personally though. We want to support and help each other.
I don't know why I'm feeling abit freaked out.
I'm scared of complacency. I'm scared of pretence.
I'm having to make major changes in my life and I am scared.
All the mean while I have found the guy I want to be with for the rest of my life.
Yet why do I feel so strange?
I have anxiety and depression issues and get agoraphobic. He understands and is supportive though he hasn't always been I think we've learnt our lessons from our time apart from each other.
Why do I feel so weird??!!
I don't have any freinds and have to sort my mental health out.
I don't want to get co dependant on him.
we both do recreational drugs sometimes and drink alcohol.
He has many freinds in his home town which is an hour and half north of where I live.
Him and his family are really close. I'm not with mine.
Don't know why I'm feeling freaked out. My life's aboutto change. I should feel excited but I am a tad apprehensive and just feel weird:(
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ajsk13 · 51-55, M
Based on your story .
(1) he left...I'm sure your feeling how can I trust that he wont leave again?...I wouldn't
(2) you say you both in love but honestly I don't see how that can happen in just four months...I wouldn't be in love...It would take me a good year or more..
(3) If I loved you I would speak to you every day, he didn't for three or four weeks, what does that say? he's not really in the place you think he is..

I would probably start over from square one with this relationship starting by not living together until you are both sure this is going to work
SW-User
@ajsk13: Wise sensible thoughts...