I Feel Like I Live A Weird Life

I don't know what it is. But have just got back together with my bf after he called a break between us. He went to live at his mum's for three or four weeks and hardly contacted me..we had been together for four months prior and were both experience issues then he took off and messaged me saying he wanted a break. I hated it, didn't agree thought he was leaving me for good.
We have just reconciled and he's only just back living with me. it's intense. We both really really love each other we both want to marry and have a child.
I do believe we are soulmates.
I have alot of work I have to do on myself personally though. We want to support and help each other.
I don't know why I'm feeling abit freaked out.
I'm scared of complacency. I'm scared of pretence.
I'm having to make major changes in my life and I am scared.
All the mean while I have found the guy I want to be with for the rest of my life.
Yet why do I feel so strange?
I have anxiety and depression issues and get agoraphobic. He understands and is supportive though he hasn't always been I think we've learnt our lessons from our time apart from each other.
Why do I feel so weird??!!
I don't have any freinds and have to sort my mental health out.
I don't want to get co dependant on him.
we both do recreational drugs sometimes and drink alcohol.
He has many freinds in his home town which is an hour and half north of where I live.
Him and his family are really close. I'm not with mine.
Don't know why I'm feeling freaked out. My life's aboutto change. I should feel excited but I am a tad apprehensive and just feel weird:(