I Lost a Friendship
I had a friend I considered my best friend, probably up until about year 9 when I was 13/14 years old. We knew each other since we were in playgroup (about 2 years old) because we lived in the same town. Our mothers got along, so we saw each other regularly. We went to the same nursery, infant school and primary school. We were very close through all of those years. Then we went to different secondary schools, and naturally we drifted apart.
For the first few years we stayed in contact, still buying each other birthday and Christmas gifts. The contact gradually reduced, and it wasn't until by 17th birthday that I truly realised I had lost this friendship. My birthday came around, and I hadn't heard from my friend about her bringing a present over, which is what we had done up until then. My birthday came and went, and I realised that I didn't know her anymore because I had no idea what her interests were. I hadn't seen her since her birthday several months earlier. The gifts we had been getting each other were much less personal; a bath set or a candle.
After my 17th birthday passed, I accepted that we had completely drifted apart. I was half expecting this. We go to different schools, we make new friends who we see more often. It only makes sense that we let go of our past and focus on the people in our present lives. So Christmas was about a month later, and I didn't get her a present or send a card, because I didn't think I should. If I did, it would be something that lacked feeling, because I didn't feel like she was my best friend anymore. It sounds childish to keep saying best friend, but as a 7 year old kid you do have a best friend, and that does stay with you.
I still think about her though. On her 17th birthday, I remembered. On my 18th birthday I wondered if she remembered. On her 18th birthday recently I remembered. The weird thing is, I don't feel the need to resume contact again. I don't have any bad feelings towards her, I don't really feel anything. I don't want to rekindle our friendship because we are two different people to 7 years ago. We've grown into young women separately, with our own ambitions and groups of friends.
So overall I'm not sad about losing this friendship. I had a great 8/9 years with her and I will always remember her as my first best friend, but I've moved on. I really hope she is happy, but I don't feel the need to reach out to her, similarly I presume she does not feel the need to reach out to me. I'm grateful for the friendship we had.
For the first few years we stayed in contact, still buying each other birthday and Christmas gifts. The contact gradually reduced, and it wasn't until by 17th birthday that I truly realised I had lost this friendship. My birthday came around, and I hadn't heard from my friend about her bringing a present over, which is what we had done up until then. My birthday came and went, and I realised that I didn't know her anymore because I had no idea what her interests were. I hadn't seen her since her birthday several months earlier. The gifts we had been getting each other were much less personal; a bath set or a candle.
After my 17th birthday passed, I accepted that we had completely drifted apart. I was half expecting this. We go to different schools, we make new friends who we see more often. It only makes sense that we let go of our past and focus on the people in our present lives. So Christmas was about a month later, and I didn't get her a present or send a card, because I didn't think I should. If I did, it would be something that lacked feeling, because I didn't feel like she was my best friend anymore. It sounds childish to keep saying best friend, but as a 7 year old kid you do have a best friend, and that does stay with you.
I still think about her though. On her 17th birthday, I remembered. On my 18th birthday I wondered if she remembered. On her 18th birthday recently I remembered. The weird thing is, I don't feel the need to resume contact again. I don't have any bad feelings towards her, I don't really feel anything. I don't want to rekindle our friendship because we are two different people to 7 years ago. We've grown into young women separately, with our own ambitions and groups of friends.
So overall I'm not sad about losing this friendship. I had a great 8/9 years with her and I will always remember her as my first best friend, but I've moved on. I really hope she is happy, but I don't feel the need to reach out to her, similarly I presume she does not feel the need to reach out to me. I'm grateful for the friendship we had.
26-30, F
