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I had a therapist tell me to "reinvent" myself

and I got angry. It triggered something in me, and later I felt guilty..that I was too harsh on her

But she was actually wrong. It was bad advice. Even though she was considered the "best" most "compassionate" therapist in the place, actually she was traumatized too, and the clinic was an unhealthy place and everybody working there were traumatized people, to say nothing of the patients.

Gusss how many actually got "better"?

I was fired from the joint by that THERAPIST as well.

Why..cause I needed her so much...or thought I did.

The harder it got with her...the more I clung. And the whole damm thing only lasted about 2 months from start to finish. Sheeeeesh!!! I was not one of those fluffy two week "cure" types for chrissake!! Or two months either. Esp with a shitty place.

And it took a couple of years to "heal" from that betrayal. Of course it was silly in the context...cause I had seen forty -odd therapists in my life...and I'm still messed up.

I suspect many of you recognize this pattern. Its not a good idea to end up sticking it back on the client, as if the best therapy..is not beng a therapist at all, but actually RENOUNCING their therapeutic responsibility.

Gabor says that with true insight and the work that leads to it, you may in fact end up understanding that the problem is within you, and more precisely..the GHOSTS howling and rattling around within you. And once you get friendly with them (not in bed copulating but COMFORTABLE) you will see that that miniature world inside you is the huge world still devouring you and it has been cut off from you, and has now returned to make YOU the stranger.

Beware of selling out. Its disingenuous to "reinvent" yourself when you never did it to begin with. Its hard to avoid that cheap BS though. Listning to Gabor Mate will show you why I am right about all this: Please help yourself...There are too many crappy exploitive "cures" abounding and many are as bad as the problems you begin with. Surprise surprise!! And here's Gabor Mate, somebody VERY different and MUCH more authentic than any of that. Hes not "just another" one of them[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9B5mYfBPlY&ab_channel=TimFerriss]
Gabor Mate is a very smart man many could listen to. It's quite rude of a therapist to suggest you need to reinvent yourself, by the way.
@thewindupbirdchronicles it was a "meme" going around. Also maybe she thought I was trying to do that anyway, so maybe she thought she was actually complementing me.

But over the years I have learned (from being a smoking coach as well from just growing more...) that words can be so misconstrued, esp in a therapy office, thats is probably better to explain yourself rather than resort to cute memes that could be confusing...
@Elevatorpitches Very possible and I know the chair in a therapist's office, how things can be misconstrued. I used to be passionate politically in subjects, and it happened the therapist I had was also inclined that way, we ended up talking that way in lengths, which did not help me in any way for why I was originally there. I ended stopping the sessions as it was not helping me, I could simply steer the conversation away if I wanted.
[quote]The harder it got with her...the more I clung.[/quote]
so you take some responsibility for this?
assemblingaknob · 26-30, F
@plaguewatcher Jesus.... It wasn't intentional. It's a way to speak of all the struggles and coping mechanisms that are hardwired in her.
@plaguewatcher No I told this story as a case in point. The true healing is about getting in touch with your pain and what has caused it and what got twisted to seem like THATs causing it. To get back in touch with your original betrayals. YOU didn't do it to yourself. You were too helpless and deserving of the help of others. Its hard to digest that without trust in your therapist, and Gabor is one of them. He has a website too. Its not about HIM but his pointings. I put it out here to help anyone who needs it. And in the end we can be the help that we seek. But it might be a big responsibility, I take it on for myself and only sharing some of the roadsigns... this post being one of them.
I don't think it means to be someone you're not. It just means discover new things.
You don't need a therapist you need to be happy.
@littlepuppywantanewlife We are all being cheated in terrible ways, by the cheap twisted lives we are forced to live. Everyone is affected, our parents and caretakers, and over the generations its not getting easier. Hope that helps, Puppy. Cheap terms like "happiness" are useless. But in the end of course my goal is to see everyone way more comfortable with themselves and effective people... you too!
eMortal · M
Wise therapist. Try new things.
@eMortal yeah like a different therpist...

Its Gabor Mate now. Online only. lol

 
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