I Don't Want This To Be The End Of Me

But I think it might be. My baby was unexpectedly born with holes in her heart and a learning disability and I found out today that her operation has been put back. She's stopped gaining weight. I don't know how I'm going to get through another week, let alone a month. Every day is a nightmare, a literal nightmare, watching for signs of her worsening. I don't think I can take this for much longer. I've leaving, I've deactivated all my Facebook, Instagram etc accounts because I can't stand to see everyone else's healthy babies, I just want to go. I want to sleep, I want to go back in time, for somebody to fix it, to take this pain away. I can't do it, I just can't do it anymore. And YES I have help, but it's not helping, nothing is helping and it's terrifying.