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I Am A Good Person That Gets Taken Advantage Of

Thank You

2 simple but powerful words that can make the difference to a person.

Recently, I was taken advantage of, not once or twice, but many times. I am not stupid, just goal focused. It was when insult was added to injury is when I snapped and cut all ties. Was I right in how I handled it? I am not sure. Let’s just say I had had enough. It is one thing to help another, it is quite another thing to take advantage of and abuse another person.

I help out in our office. We have an older lady in her 70’s who runs the extra curricular activities. No one would help her so I jumped right in. I was the Costco queen, the plant lady, the errand runner and I did it all with a smile and no complaints.

This woman and her daughter commandeered my trip to London. For the sake of having a pleasant time, I went along with them just to enjoy a part of the trip. This lady invited me to Las Vegas. I figured out that it was to babysit her friend while she gambled. I looked at it as getting a free room but I have to tell you the friend was a pain.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was when I was promised a very large plant that I had taken care, had repotted and helped it thrive. The first large plant was given away and I was promised the second one, but this woman also gave it away behind my back.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t need another plant, but I was talked to like a dog. That did it. I washed my hands of helping her again. I called my boss, told him what happened (he was already aware of what they were doing to me) and stopped all communication with her and the other lady.

Why did I continue to help her all these years? It was for the good of the company and I felt badly for her due to her age. There is much more I could add but you get the picture.

I have already written about how I am helping a little girl who has drug addicted parents. This little girl is the step granddaughter of my brother and former sister in law.
I love to sew. I have made this little girl the most beautiful clothes & quilts not to mention the stuff I bought her on sale. I made sure she had Christmas presents.

Not once have I ever received acknowledgement for what I have done. I have never received a call to acknowledge they received the boxes, if the clothes fit or she likes them…much less a thank you.

This family lives in a very bad part of town. The post office doesn’t like to leave packages there. Plus the father has been known to sell their possessions. I put a tracer on them but sometimes they don’t acknowledge the mailman.

I have never received a thank you for anything. All I could get from my former SIL is how I have HURT HER feelings! Is there a better way of handling it? Not sure. I do know that I am looking at my kindness in a different light in 2015.

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Texicanian

Dont let them drag you down to their level. They hate the contrast between you & them, which your kindhearted qualities illuminate. Also, dont let anyone tell you that you are being somehow selfish or anything of the kind when you refuse to be used as a doormat. True love sometimes has to be tough, & if anything, you would be doing them a favor in the long run. They are on course for a lot of hurt when they encounter the response of an intended victim, who proves a formidable foe when retaliating, who will be unforgiving to the point of trying to ensure that such exploitative "talents" are disabled. Jesus said, "give expecting to receive nothing in return", & you do that very well. It is a false kindness to reinforce unacceptable behavior through giving unconditionally, so your resolve to be more discerning does not take from your overarching qualities of kindness in the least. Stay strong, & know that you have a lot of love & support from your many friends here.
Lots of Love
Texicanian

akindheart · 61-69, F

You are an angel sent from God...when I get down, you seem to sense when you need to head over here...thank you babe...i treasure your responses!

mrfixitman

well, we understand it is not the little girls fault, poor kid, her parents are messing up her life and not doing their job in providing her guidance, cause they are incapable of it. So the girl is the loser in this situation.

I do not know what to say about the old lady, often they start to get senile and forgetful, and they are easily manipulated by unscrupulous people, I know, am going thru that now with in laws. SOme people are just screwed up, sometimes people take advantage of people, either intentional or unintentional. You did the right thing, cut the ties and good riddance. Next time they find themselves in a bind and they come to you just let em know you are too busy to help, eventually they will get the hint, or they will find someone else to take care of their issues, once again, not my problem anymore. i am going thru the same shit myself now.

akindheart · 61-69, F

even my boss supports me. he saw it but didn't say anything. i am going to continue to send the little girl things regardless of the parents. i just have to cut the price tags off or he will sell them.

mrfixitman

that is so sad. If there is anything I detest is parents not taking care of their children. Too bad the undesirable ones would automatically be sterile till they either get their shit together, or if they never do, not have children. So sad.

iseeuthrou

ha!!! a true revelation!!! u r the one!!!
nothing more vqluable than thruth.
Happy New Year Samatha! U will be kicked out of my territory!!

Harley52

You have been hurt many times over, like so many of us, but please don't change what you try to do. There are many out there that just take advantage of people and, sometimes, I think they don't even conciously know that they're doing it. And, that, is the really sad part, isn't it? There really are many of us that do appreciate everything you do. More and more every day. You are the good example that everyone needs to look up to.

And do not try to rethink how you have handled it. There is nothing laid in stone as to how to handle yourself. I think you have done a grand job all this time and it is their loss to not have you there to help and to have your friendship.

Don't ever give up your kindness. The world would be a sadder place if you let them get to you. Please don't let them win.

akindheart · 61-69, F

i guess i have to just be a better judge of character...i found that what made me cut all ties is when people lie to me...i have been too good to these 2 ladies to warrant that kind of behavior.

Harley52

I quite agree. And it's their loss. Your friendship and trust is something to value, which they did not.

bamaswitch

They say fools rush in, just like that, I have done so , too often, myself. I'll be among others,, for saying Thank you, to you, AKH, for being so sweet and thoughtful, in spite of selfish people like the ones you mentioned. The world is a better place, thanks to the sweet people who keep making the extra effort, like you, like my wonderful but long-gone parents and sometimes I try to keep up, for my own desire to help others, and to pay back the kindness I was given, so many years ago. it's a family trait, to give and expect nothing in return. All too often, that's how it goes.But, Dear AKH, I'd love to give more and more of that kindness back to YOU. :D

akindheart · 61-69, F

Great minds think alike sweetheart and i am so grateful you found me...thanks for being so kind!

bamaswitch

Many thanks back at you! Now, whatever can we do about it. Feel free to message me, at any time to discuss the details. ;)

dandylion7

Your actions sound like the me I once was.
I miss the days of doing things just to help someone else. No...somehow, they mistakenly think a kind deed is an example of a gullible moron....& try to walk on those who are kind.
... I recently cut ties with someone I considered my best friend...She'd increasingly become a 'USER' (of me), but the final straw was when I took vacation time off work to help her after surgery, then, months later, when I needed a small favor (2 hrs of her volunteer time to help elderly people), she flatly refused. ... WHY is it that these people think THEIR time is more valuable than ours??.. Well, no more worries, as I'm done with that. ...and I feel better for it! 😄... Whew., thanks for letting me vent.

akindheart · 61-69, F

you made excellent points...it is all about THEIR feelings isn't it? you did the right thing. you can always vent to me!

ear4u2

...it's a sad fact of life that kind hearted people do get taken advantage of and get trampled on, I've lost count of the times I've helped people with no thanks in return, I use to internalise the anger I've felt but now, when these people EXPECT me to help them, I say "NO" and they have the audacity to be shocked when I do say 'NO' - I then tell them with cold hard simple basic words WHY I'm not helping them - I soon have them 'running for cover' never to return - I feel 10 times better doing that !!!

akindheart · 61-69, F

thank you for responding. the 2 women heard me loud and clear and had the nerve to badmouth me in the office. I took it to my boss who nipped it in the bud...now they are just plain mad, quiet but mad.

ear4u2

...oh yes, 'mad' is a good word to describe this kind of people !!!

Dreampoet

What is it with women in the office? They are so catty. I have female friends and I hear the same thing over and over. Can't they just get along?

louannatg

I understand exactly what you are saying, some " Friends " just do not know how to appreciate a helping hand. I have few friends now because most in the past have taken me in one way or another. Such as, one " Friend " and her cohort boyfriend have just recently gone to jail for amongst other charges, steeling a handgun from my home while one of them distracted me. Another " Friend " offered to go to the grocery store for me while I was laid up with a broken neck. I gave him the last $80 I had, haven't see the little bastard since.
Anyway, as you know we learn the hard way BUT WE LEARN.
Kisses To You Darling
LA

akindheart · 61-69, F

I am very sorry for your troubles. you understand what i am saying though...thank you!

Diablessse

My mother always said, do good and expect no thanks. Gratitude is always nice to receive, but not everyone knows how to be grateful. You help out of the kindness of your heart, not to receive thanks, and as far as I'm concerned, all the thanks I need when I do something for someone is knowing that I have done my part. I don't expect anything in return.

View 1 more replies »

Diablessse

Yes it does, and it's always nice to hear a thank you, but that thank you is not the reason why I do it in the first place. I get to sleep with a clear conscience, knowing I have done my part to help out someone in need, that is thanks enough for me.

akindheart · 61-69, F

i never expect anything but a thank you. nothing else. I am blessed and i want to share...thanks D...

Diablessse

Stop expecting the thank you AKH, it will make life easier for you. Just do it for the sake of being generous. Kindness is its own reward.

dirtfarmer2

You are between a "rock and a hard place". I understand that you do not like either outcome. Sometimes it is hard to be a giving person, and that is usually the high road unless you become an enabler to their bad behavior. It is a tough call, but you are the bigger person and the winner in the end. An old farmer,with little education, once told me "not all accounts are settled at harvest time". I think that he had a good point.

akindheart · 61-69, F

wise advice. that is what i think happened. i didn't complain and that enabled them to dump on me. they were actually running me ragged...and i never complained.

Itsmytime2be

Don't let these people destroy your kind and generous spirit. It is a part of you, and even if they do not thank you, others do. By putting yourself out there selflessly, it will be returned to you in spades at some point. There are plenty of other people that do appreciate you. Hugs

akindheart · 61-69, F

that is so very kind of you! thank you so much. i keep hoping that what i do is not in vain. that one day the little girl at least will remember me making her feel pretty.

Itsmytime2be

She will I'm sure. No matter what her parents do or don't do, she'll remember that you cared. You never know how much that gesture will mean to her in the future!

Itsmytime2be

I have a soft spot for children, as well. Animals, too.

hbr1

you can only push things so far and by now you probably know when you are already on a one way street. Sometimes you do acts of kindness when you know they will never be paid for with a thank-you but you do them anyway. It is what makes us really human and in the long run you'll earn back payment many times over from your own conscious.

akindheart · 61-69, F

good food for thought babe....thank you

cpep8

Sorry to hear that you got taken advantage of. You're tired of being used and that's no way to be. You and I are to develop a new strategy. This is a New Year and we're starting a new page. Our top of the list is we're going to make a new friend this year.

akindheart · 61-69, F

I agree!! no more users...hugs to you!

TrevorThomson

It's sad your good nature was exploited. At least you have learnt and one thing I would advise you to do is follow the tit-for-tat principle. Help people who help you and don't help people who don't help you.

akindheart · 61-69, F

I know this little girl can't help her parents. what upsets me is that they wont even tell me when the boxes arrive. i know the little girl loves them though so iwill continue for a while. as for the ladies at work, i will never help again.

ConfusedCD

Unfortunately there are too many people like them and not enough like you. That said, Thank you for your generosity and caring. I wish I knew more people like you.

akindheart · 61-69, F

((Hugs)) to you for that kind comment..if more people were kind, we would have less problems in the world, right?

ConfusedCD

Exactly. I guess people like us are the glue that keeps the world from all out anarchy. Have a great day. <3

akindheart · 61-69, F

have a wonderful holiday...will talk to you later!

Jabx82

Yep. I had to quit my job because it turned into a hostile environment for me. They started taking way too much advantage of me and verbally abused me.

akindheart · 61-69, F

no job is worth that. i have been in that situation. I walked out with .65 in my pocket and no job.

aces4battle

Time to pray for them and let go. I they come crying to you for something direct them on where to get what they need and let go.

akindheart · 61-69, F

Good advice! and well taken...they have trashed me at work and both had to be talked to and now they are refusing to let me know of events at work...

jml2000

Sometimes you try to help people, and it backfires on you, and then they try to take advantage of you.

Bill Cosby

akindheart · 61-69, F

powerful honey....boy did they ever take him for a ride

Hikingguy

You know in your heart who you are. The hell with the rest. You can sleep at night being the wonderful person you are.

akindheart · 61-69, F

that is so kind of you...yep, that is what keeps me moving. i have a clear conscience.. maybe my reward will come later..

expressomarkie

As you say... You can only do so much.
After that...leave the ball in their court... :)

akindheart · 61-69, F

i know Markie. if they would only let me know the box arrived, that would be a start. i get nothing...

expressomarkie

Some peoples are like that...
All you can do .. Is shrug your shoulders...and recognise the fact you tried as hard as you could ....

pinkfly

It's sad when people don't return acts of kindness with kindness .

akindheart · 61-69, F

I am blessed so i don't expect anything but a thank you...and that seems to be too much.

hminuk

Happy New Year and let's hope 2015 is a good year for all.

akindheart · 61-69, F

thank you for your comment...you too!

bowman81

Thank You

akindheart · 61-69, F

that made it ALL better....thank you!

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