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I Bottle Up My Feelings Instead Of Expressing Them To Others

I can’t bottle shit up anymore and I’m still adjusting to it. Now Every time I bottle something in it’s like holding a knife by its blade. It works but it rapidly cuts me up. The first sign was getting my anxiety attack and now I feel urges of throwing up. I can’t keep doing this, I don’t know why I still do. I’m talking to people that want me to open up and express myself but I feel like people just pretend to listen and that’s it. I might as well be talking to A mannequin If nobody is going to acknowledge my pain or feelings. I’ll always be a bother. I feel like I’m a chore.

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Elessar · 26-30, M

[quote]I feel like people just pretend to listen and that’s it. [...] I’ll always be a bother.[/quote]

You feel like this, I think, because you've talked only/mostly with people who don't have an experience or even just knowledge about what you're going through. Everyone knows what anxiety is, so everyone will tell you they've dealt with it at least once - but the type of anxiety that gives you attacks is completely different than, say, the type of anxiety one experiences randomly, because of stress.

SW-User

@Elessar I’m terrified of talking to other people that feel this way. I’m in some sort of denial i think

Elessar · 26-30, M

@SW-User Maybe you're just scared about anxiety being/becoming uncontrollable, thus giving yourself even more anxiety, in a sort of loop?

None of us is really comfortable about it, anyway - either for this reason or another - trust me. 😓

SW-User

@Elessar Yeah, that’s pretty close. And I just wish I didn’t feel this way anymore

Elessar · 26-30, M

@SW-User I understand, and can relate. 🤗

SW-User

@Elessar I wish more people understood.. ): *hugs*

Elessar · 26-30, M

@SW-User *hug*