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I Am An Addict

I was always apprehensive about sharing with this part of me, also most of my life I was in denial anyway. Even now I debate myself on the issue. Regardless, I know it's a problem.
So, I started drinking at 18, like daily, because I had a shity job that required being sociable, but I was shy af and lived most my life in the shadow of me ex-friend. So I heard that alcohol makes u relax and not be as anxious. Even my "friends" when going out would say: "pour Dan some, so he'll start talking". Basically conditioning me to it.
With time, college came around, and I went from light bevarages to hard alcohol, because I felt like I was becoming resistant to it.
At some point I tried to stop because I thought I might develop some liver problem or some stuff like that. Stopped for a couple of months, then started again, but just beer. From a little beer, went to a lot of beer and back to daily intake.
I've been drinking quite heavily. Ok I wouldn't say necessarily heavily, like really drunk or blackout heavy. More like a beer/ a couple of beers daily.

I decided to stop again, however I need an outlet, something to exchange it with, because I get urges. I chose exercise. Now every time I'd usually drink or get urges, I make push-us, or other exercises.
I've been doing it for the past 3 days and I think it's working, it pushes the thoughts out of my mind. Though my muscles hurt so bad, I've been doing like 2-3 times a day. Could I destroy my muscles? is that a thing?

Probably will delete, because I'm ashamed of it.

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Tatsumi · 31-35, M

I would say that would technically be an "alcoholic", as when I think of "addict", I think drugs. But alcohol is a drug, and the 12-step-meetings are basically interchangeable. And alcohol is probably worse than heroin when it comes to withdrawals, if you get physically addicted. Alcohol and benzos are the only drugs you can die from in withdrawal--i.e., possibility of dying when you stop.

Just a small matter of semantics. Err. I mean... Quit trying to steal my street cred by calling yourself an addict!

Just kidding.

As for your coping mechanism, it depends on what exercises you're doing. (I've been training and studying training for the past 3-4 years: I know a decent bit about fitness). If you're doing low-intensity exercise, you can do that all day long. Though I wouldn't recommend it.

If you're doing high intensity exercise, yeah, your body might need some rest. Recovery is where strength and endurance are grown. Exercise breaks your body down--which may not be the best thing for you if you're pushing it hard, when your body is fighting a hard battle, already. Light-moderate exercise is great, but heavy could be negative, if your body is stressed.

Depending on your level of fitness, you could enter overtraining territory. Doing high intensity exercise breaks down your immune system. It comes back stronger, but exercise is a stress to your body. A [b]needed stress[/b], but it's still about [i]how much[/i] stress is good and how much is bad.

You could also get rhabdomyolysis--commonly known as rabdo--f you work your body too hard. And that's a trip to the hospital and possible death. Tearing up the muscles can release toxins into the blood. Basically, yes, you can literally kill your muscles, and their corpse floods through your body doing serious damage to the rest of it. Bodybuilder's get it sometimes, but you REALLY have to stress your body beyond its limits, generally, for that to happen.

If you're sore one day though, try to work a different body part. You were doing push ups, okay, try pull ups. If you can't do a pull up, jump up to a bar (say at a park, if you don't have a gym membership), then slowly let yourself down. You can do inverted rows on a bar, as well, pulling yourself up to the bar, if you can't do full pull ups.

Bodyweight squats, jogging, stuff like that. Even just walking would be profoundly healthy, and you can do that all day long. I used to go for long walks while I was in withdrawal from morphine. It sucked, but it also helped a lot.

This is a tactic called a bro split in bodybuilding, but the same concept applies to whatever your goals are. If one part is sore, work a different part.

Good luck, bro. Life sucks clean, but it sucks a lot worse high/drunk. Consider a 12-step, with people who know what it's like. It can help.

Dan193 · 31-35, M

@Tatsumi I said addict, because alcoholic is so much more of a demeaning word to me. I was already uncomfortable posting it, but calling myself that.......well now you get what I mean by: I lived most my life in denial.
Thanks for the advice, however regarding pull-ups and going to the park...well I exercise only when I get urges, or before work or at night (when I'd usually drink), so I just do it on the spot.
I even go home from my work breaks just to put in some 10-12 minutes of exercise [I live close to my job].

Tatsumi · 31-35, M

@Dan193 "Addict" is so much more of a cooler label, isn't it? I've always thought so. :P And sure. That's the way most addicts go, denial, denial, denial. You're making some hella progress if you've overcome that. You should be proud of this post. ^_^

Oh yeah, easy peasy. You can relax about it possibly being too much. You could bang it out for a straight hour in the morning and an hour at night every day and be totally fine. Sore as hell. But fine. Even so, switching it up a little would make it easier on your body, alternating the days on which muscle groups you work in those time frames.

There's tons of different bodyweight exercises you can do on the spot. Check out Athlean X on youtube. Legit, [b][u]ULTRA qualified [/u][/b]personal trainer of professional athletes. Has a ton of stuff on bodyweight exercises. :)

Dan193 · 31-35, M

@Tatsumi Thankyou, I will.