I Am An Addict
I was always apprehensive about sharing with this part of me, also most of my life I was in denial anyway. Even now I debate myself on the issue. Regardless, I know it's a problem.
So, I started drinking at 18, like daily, because I had a shity job that required being sociable, but I was shy af and lived most my life in the shadow of me ex-friend. So I heard that alcohol makes u relax and not be as anxious. Even my "friends" when going out would say: "pour Dan some, so he'll start talking". Basically conditioning me to it.
With time, college came around, and I went from light bevarages to hard alcohol, because I felt like I was becoming resistant to it.
At some point I tried to stop because I thought I might develop some liver problem or some stuff like that. Stopped for a couple of months, then started again, but just beer. From a little beer, went to a lot of beer and back to daily intake.
I've been drinking quite heavily. Ok I wouldn't say necessarily heavily, like really drunk or blackout heavy. More like a beer/ a couple of beers daily.
I decided to stop again, however I need an outlet, something to exchange it with, because I get urges. I chose exercise. Now every time I'd usually drink or get urges, I make push-us, or other exercises.
I've been doing it for the past 3 days and I think it's working, it pushes the thoughts out of my mind. Though my muscles hurt so bad, I've been doing like 2-3 times a day. Could I destroy my muscles? is that a thing?
Probably will delete, because I'm ashamed of it.
So, I started drinking at 18, like daily, because I had a shity job that required being sociable, but I was shy af and lived most my life in the shadow of me ex-friend. So I heard that alcohol makes u relax and not be as anxious. Even my "friends" when going out would say: "pour Dan some, so he'll start talking". Basically conditioning me to it.
With time, college came around, and I went from light bevarages to hard alcohol, because I felt like I was becoming resistant to it.
At some point I tried to stop because I thought I might develop some liver problem or some stuff like that. Stopped for a couple of months, then started again, but just beer. From a little beer, went to a lot of beer and back to daily intake.
I've been drinking quite heavily. Ok I wouldn't say necessarily heavily, like really drunk or blackout heavy. More like a beer/ a couple of beers daily.
I decided to stop again, however I need an outlet, something to exchange it with, because I get urges. I chose exercise. Now every time I'd usually drink or get urges, I make push-us, or other exercises.
I've been doing it for the past 3 days and I think it's working, it pushes the thoughts out of my mind. Though my muscles hurt so bad, I've been doing like 2-3 times a day. Could I destroy my muscles? is that a thing?
Probably will delete, because I'm ashamed of it.
