I Have Random Thoughts

[in the office]
Me: "Wow, I haven't seen you around in ages!"
Coworker: "I've been puking for a week straight and couldn't move as it felt like every organ in my body was trying to kill me. My joints still hurt as I feel like I'm slowly dying wondering if I am suffering from all that bad Karma in my 20s"
Me: "oh ok" *runs into bathroom and squirts hand sanitizer all over my body*