I Don't Fit In With My Family
I hate it. The more family members that are around me, the more I feel like some kind of alien.
I have an instinct to care about them, and I do, but I can't keep my sanity at family functions. I don't really have anything in common with them. We don't think in the same ways. We don't do the same things. We don't have the same goals or interests. Naturally, I don't have anything of value that I could add to any conversation, and I'm not very good at feigning interest. I find it astounding that I share so much of my genes with people who I just can't feel in touch with.
I don't get it. I'm twenty-one years into this dynamic and I'm still stuck and I still hate it. Is it my fault? Is it hopeless? Am I just stupid or toxic or something?
I have an instinct to care about them, and I do, but I can't keep my sanity at family functions. I don't really have anything in common with them. We don't think in the same ways. We don't do the same things. We don't have the same goals or interests. Naturally, I don't have anything of value that I could add to any conversation, and I'm not very good at feigning interest. I find it astounding that I share so much of my genes with people who I just can't feel in touch with.
I don't get it. I'm twenty-one years into this dynamic and I'm still stuck and I still hate it. Is it my fault? Is it hopeless? Am I just stupid or toxic or something?
