I Want to Tell You How I Feel
Im Feeling A Little Low Right Now... I just sat in my chair last night.... So fed up with my life ..
Work work work....
It's all I seem to do
And every day has more and more to do ..
And yet the things I need to do, go by the wayside ...
I just felt so so fed up with everything .. The way I'm treated by people ....
(in my real life)
Everybody expects me to be there for them
Everybody thinks "oh mark will do that"
Mum has lined up so many jobs for me this week, I have no idea how I'm gonna fit em all in...
I know all my friends online are missing me, yet I can't seem to find time for them ...
These are the people who care about me ...
And yet I can't return the love...
It all seems so unfair ...
I sometimes just really want to escape all the shit that's been dealt to me ....
And I can't ever see it ending ...
I really can't
Day after day after day ....
It's been going on nearly 3 years now,, since dad first had his accident and broke his hip... That's when I stepped in to help ...and now it's ruling my life
Mum won't have others in to help her
Work won't employ more staff
And my wife is getting the hump because I'm never around to help her !!!!
As I say .. It's all getting to me .. And nothing anybody is saying is helping...
I hear all the comments all day that people say
Get mum to do more
Don't go round there
Just say sod her
Put your foot down and tell her how you feel
And it goes on and on...
But nothing I say works
I've really tried to tell her I need some space and time
And she just nods and says see you tomorrow ..
It's like im speaking another language to her
And what if I just "don't go round"
Then all I'll worry about is her not eating.. Not looking after herself ... Not doing anything ..the dog going hungry ..
Because she WONT go out or do things herself ...
I've bearly slept last night .. Just laid there ... Thoughts going round and round and round ....
And I can't see it ending ...
I can't find a solution ..
Sorry .. I know I'm going on ...
But I thought I'd just let you all know where I'm at .....
Work work work....
It's all I seem to do
And every day has more and more to do ..
And yet the things I need to do, go by the wayside ...
I just felt so so fed up with everything .. The way I'm treated by people ....
(in my real life)
Everybody expects me to be there for them
Everybody thinks "oh mark will do that"
Mum has lined up so many jobs for me this week, I have no idea how I'm gonna fit em all in...
I know all my friends online are missing me, yet I can't seem to find time for them ...
These are the people who care about me ...
And yet I can't return the love...
It all seems so unfair ...
I sometimes just really want to escape all the shit that's been dealt to me ....
And I can't ever see it ending ...
I really can't
Day after day after day ....
It's been going on nearly 3 years now,, since dad first had his accident and broke his hip... That's when I stepped in to help ...and now it's ruling my life
Mum won't have others in to help her
Work won't employ more staff
And my wife is getting the hump because I'm never around to help her !!!!
As I say .. It's all getting to me .. And nothing anybody is saying is helping...
I hear all the comments all day that people say
Get mum to do more
Don't go round there
Just say sod her
Put your foot down and tell her how you feel
And it goes on and on...
But nothing I say works
I've really tried to tell her I need some space and time
And she just nods and says see you tomorrow ..
It's like im speaking another language to her
And what if I just "don't go round"
Then all I'll worry about is her not eating.. Not looking after herself ... Not doing anything ..the dog going hungry ..
Because she WONT go out or do things herself ...
I've bearly slept last night .. Just laid there ... Thoughts going round and round and round ....
And I can't see it ending ...
I can't find a solution ..
Sorry .. I know I'm going on ...
But I thought I'd just let you all know where I'm at .....
