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My family just thinks I'm a terrible person. They think I [b]pretended[/b] to be an alcoholic for attention and even beside that, they accused me of things so terrible I'm not even sure I want to speak of them, here. They harassed me day in and day out until I finally had a breakdown while drunk and ended up making a scene on the front lawn. All the neighbors came out to watch the show until an ambulance came to take me away.

The struggles I already had that lead me to drinking, on top of them treating me like shit, was just too much so I broke and humiliated myself.

To this day, there's been no justice; no redemption. My neighbors saw me screaming and crying like a baby and my family all still think I'm just this awful dreg. It remains that way and it will stay that way forever and there's nothing I can do about it. No matter how much I want scream at them and drill into their skull that I'm not everything they conveniently made me up to be, their skull is too thick to drill into and they're gonna think whatever they wanna think.

I carry this burden.
PepsiColaP · 22-25, F
Sometimes I think of John Nash and how his schizophrenia made him see people during his lectures and although he was a genius and genuinely well respected for his work a lot of people treated him with wonder like a wild animal because they couldnt see or understand what he was going through. The thing is,every mind has a breaking point,just as your heart and lungs do too ,but we often take as such for granted and treat others suffering as our entertainment . I am sorry you went through that,but you are not the embarrassment
[@1090951,PepsiColaP] I want a good relationship with my family 😭
PepsiColaP · 22-25, F
[@998562,SinlessOnslaught] I know. I think once you are independent and in a better place yourself you will
[@1090951,PepsiColaP] I hope so.
Dolimyte · 36-40, M
This sounds like a classic abuse scenario. The victim copes as best they can, until they can't anymore and then has a breakdown.

I hope you find a way to cope, and/or distance yourself from the toxic people in your life.
HannahSky · F
Good feedback from [@1090951,pepsicolap]
think of this feedback when you're upset and reach for a soda 🥤
PepsiColaP · 22-25, F
[@868864,HannahSky] þ

My blood tastes like cola
HannahSky · F
[@1090951,PepsiColaP] it better 😂 🥤
HannibalAteMeOut · 18-21, F
They're the embarrassment, they failed as parents and you'll be fine without them.
HannibalAteMeOut · 18-21, F
[@998562,SinlessOnslaught] that's horrible, at least you can stay away from them... Idk how it all turned out like that but this is not a family.
[@8344,HannibalAteMeOut] I love them to death and I hate criticizing them but yes you're right. They act horribly to me and then claim that they're my best friend and that they treat me too well.
HannibalAteMeOut · 18-21, F
[@998562,SinlessOnslaught] that's always the worst, especially if they were doing this since you were a child. It's better to be consistent, even if you're just abusive, because at least that person you abuse will accept that there is no love and move on. Right now you might feel guilty because of those good moments you've had together, but they're not true. You need to keep ignoring them, better to be far away and loved than together and hated.
curiosi · 56-60, F
I'm sorry, I can relate but, have yet to find answers.
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