I think Papi wants to pay me to keep away from him because I’m ugly and fat... [I Am Depressed]

Papi can’t stand the sight of me. He hates me, I can tell. He can’t live his life properly because of me. Papi most likely wants to pay me to keep away from him because I’m ugly and fat and I lower his self esteem, but I’m in love with him and I would rather DIE than take his money. I just want him. Papi hates me, Papi is afraid of me. Papi thinks I’m ugly. Papi wouldn’t even want to be caught pissing next to me because I’m so ugly and fat.

I’m sorry Papi that I’m ugly and fat. I didn’t make myself look this way. I was messed up along the way. I’m sorry that I scare you. Maybe I should commit suicide so you could be happy...