If you only give yourself one chance to be in a relationship

@Magenta If one believes that then it will help them make the best decision of all, date nobody

@Jackaloftheazuresand Or date many, but don't settle for anyone. 😁

@Jpfunjunky think less bahaha, that may work if I were in that blissful state known as ignorance. Unfortunately for me, I'm not a feather dancing in the wind.

You think you can plan for the future yourself, your plan being that you can't plan. Everything you do serves order. All things have predictable outcomes and follow the laws of the universe, just because you lack the mind to account for them doesn't mean I do.

@Jackaloftheazuresand Lol wow.
You can’t account for everything in life. If you think you can, then you have a god complex.
Most likely though, you have anxiety due to abandonment issues. So then you think if you factor every little thing in and control every detail, you won’t ever have to face abandonment. That’s sad.
I feel for you and you should go get professional help.

@Jpfunjunky You already stated death as something that can't be planned for, that is one of the easiest. If you think that's a crazy obstacle then I can see just how little you know. The Paradox is beyond your grasp and forever will be because your brain can't get anymore powerful than what it is now. I suppose your nature is good though because by virtue it means you will be forgotten and you'll be okay with that.

@MushroomFaerie That is exactly how it works and that's why it isn't simple, people do not study enough before doing things

@Jackaloftheazuresand lol oh you wee soul

@MushroomFaerie Yes I'm the wee soul because I know you have to put in work, how's your life going? How many people have thrown you away or how many have you tossed aside to feed the gaping hole you'll never fill?

@Jackaloftheazuresand Because so many people hate the church and its teachings - especially when people are choosing to stay and live with abuse rather than getting out and waiting to see if they outlive their spouse so that they may remarry again and have a chance to be happy.

@HootyTheNightOwl ah, I doubt those people actually trust the rule in their heart of hearts. They still think there is a way out, like becoming a widow as you mention therefore they do not give proper thought to their choice in partner

@Jackaloftheazuresand In many cases, there is just a 50/50 chance of out living your spouse - unless you have a significant age gap with your spouse... so I think that they will be more likely to give it serious consideration than you might like to think.

Assuming that I don't have an accident or something, it would be fair to assume that I will outlive my husband, given the age gap between us... but it is a long time to be living with abuse and stuck in misery. I get that people may not consider abuse going into a marriage because few people tend to consider things like that and the effect that aging will have on their future spouse prior to marriage.