I Am An Open Book

You know all those women who always tell you that everything's fine when it's not? Let's just say I'm completely opposite. I want to say what's on my mind, and I want to let it all out, and I won't tell you I'm fine. And lately I have been suppressing my emotions about "certain things" because it causes arguments if I'm not careful. But I am not a girl who will just say something's fine when it's not. The things I suppress I just have to keep my mouth shut about and just put on a facade, because it's just not worth it. It's not worth all the trouble I would go through otherwise by letting it out. I've already been there and done that. It's no use. It's frustrating to have to be this way, and one day I think I might explode, but in the mean time I'm just going to have to keep myself distracted as well as use this outlet for saying what's on my mind. I also speak my mind in other ways not related to what I keep tucked away in the back of my skull...The other life matters that are important...like career decisions and money problems. It sucks though, because then those problems get a lot bigger because I focus all the tucked away energy on those problems. Then they wonder why I'm so upset. It hurts that I can't let out what I want to, but I know that I can't because then it will hurt more. I have always been an open book, but now that there's confusion in my life I am not allowed to be that open book.