Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

I Don't Know What to Do Anymore

My boyfriend had an accident and is now confined in a wheel chair and ever since his personality has split. He turned into a monster! He yells, became increasingly aggressive, verbally abusive and is very manipulative and can't keep a proper conversation without being aggravated.I empathize with him and find it hard to leave him because I know what a great person he was, to make it worse he refuse to seek therapy or counselling. This whole thing is stressing me and I feel stuck

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

GwydionFrost · 56-60, M

His personality didn't split... he's become bitter and enraged at that whole situation... and since talking to a therapist would be admitting that he cannot do this by himself, either... on top of everything else taken from him to this point...?

He's going to stubbornly refuse the help, even though accepting it could alleviate the issues.

To be honest, it's going to take you pulling him aside, and forcing him to listen to you. To do this, you cannot be wishy-washy and dance around the subject. You have to let him know you will NOT be abused by anyone, including him.

You need to make it very clear-- he lost use of his legs, not his life. However, if he keeps on choosing to destroy the rest of his life, just so he can claim he was right about everything and everyone (self fulfilling prophecy), he can... just not with YOU around to witness it.

He needs to understand-- you've adapted fine to his physical changes. It's the mental abuse he's dishing out to everyone you've got issues with.

RyannaT · 26-30, F

@GwydionFrost Thank you so much for your brilliant suggestion. I hope it all goes well

GwydionFrost · 56-60, M

@RyannaT Me, too. I'd even advise not doing it alone, if you can. Maybe one of his close family members, friends.

Think INTERVENTION.

RyannaT · 26-30, F

@GwydionFrost The problem is his family walk on egg shells around him and he has lost half of all his friends because of his latest attitude

MissMollyCharlotte0702

@GwydionFrost excellent advice!! I work with people with disabilities and I’ve seen the abuse and self pity. Family members are beside themselves not always knowing what to do. Family has to be firm.
He didn’t die so he needs to stop acting like he did.

GwydionFrost · 56-60, M

@MissMollyCharlotte0702 I'm a USMC vet. I've seen this, too... and we have AMAZING support in those circumstances.

ChefBrian · 41-45, M

@GwydionFrost his advice is solid!