I Will Not Tolerate Abuse

The first time a man tried to hit me, my sister got in the way. He broke her arm. He apologized profusely all the way to the hospital. Explaining how it was all an accident... How he never intended to hurt either of us. Saying he wanted to hit the cupboard - but I was in his way. I was 13 and very naive... And I believed him. I blame it on youthful stupidity. Less than a week later he tried to strangle me. Then he came up with his next excuse; alleging that he was possessed by some type of demon and had no control over himself. He crumpled up on the floor, sobbing like a baby... And i felt sorry for him. Another mistake. Two weeks later he threw me out of a moving vehicle. I broke four ribs and cracked two in the process. I got up and walked home. I didn't tell anyone what happened. I tried my level best to avoid him after that, but was unsuccessful, he caught me and dragged me back by my hair. And he caused a lot more damage after that. When I finally managed to get him out of my life, I promised myself that I will never tolerate abuse. That I would be stronger than that. But I never loved that man. So I couldn't possibly know how much love complicates things. How rationality somehow takes a backseat in the presence of love.

I do, however, love the current man in my life. He has never hit me, but he did try to kill me once. Mind you, he was in a drug-induced psychosis when that happened. We separated for a year after that, to get our heads straight and figure things out. We have been back together for quite some time now and he has never tried anything like that again. He claims he is a changed man, and I am inclined to believe him. I do not believe that I am blinded by love anymore, as I was when we just met. I am certainly more cautious. And my promise hasn't changed... If he ever gives me cause to fear him again, I will leave.

I will not tolerate abuse - but I do believe in second chances. Just take note that there will be no third.