I Have Never Been In a Relationship
The reason we're called hopeless romantics, is because there's really no hope that someone will ever be able to hold that huge heart without dropping it after a moment.
You think to yourself "I have so much love to give, why doesn't anyone want to have it and why is there no one who can love me the same?" Because, sweet thing, people innately have a give, take relationship with the rest of the world. We're drilled with "nothing's free" and to accept all your love is to accept an equal responsibility.
The real truth is, most are not right for you. Most are not born with your heart and compassion. Sure you could make it work with any of them, but it wouldn't be you, you'd be fighting to fit into who they want, and letting your life pass by. You deserve better. "But then why isn't anyone interested in me?" They are! People see you and know you're special, they might want to be with you, but they can see how deep you and your love go, and they realize they don't have that much to give. And they're right. The one that will take your breath away and show you just how special you really are, is special on their own, and special is a rare find indeed.
To be alone is a stage of life we all must master, lest we settle for less and make a decision beyond regrettable. You are beautiful all on your own; your mind, heart and your body, you don't need someone, ANYONE, else to think so to make it true.
I personally have never felt the sensation of a lovers embrace, or a kiss, or a hand to hold. My life's full of imaginations and fantasies of falling in love and finding that perfect companion, but I always thought I was like everybody else, and that around any corner they might be there. That's not the truth though, and for the first time I feel like that faith that I'm going to have a Disney romance, is gone, numbed to unbelievability. Yet, I might be okay to keep all my love inside, as much as I feel like I just need to put it somewhere. I am me, the person I've been building since I could keep a thought to myself, and no one makes me happier, and no one makes me prouder. I will live my life ba<x>sed on my opinions of what I love, and I will find in every moment, all that it has to offer.
I wish I could give you more, but unfortunately you can't accept something you've not earned. But I think you have. You're surviving in a world that's only tried to take from you, and you didn't choose to live here. "Life's not fair" doesn't make it so. You deserve somebody to tell you that you're worth it, that the unique, 'weird' person that you are, is perfect. Nobody gets that, but you don't need to try to please them, they will do nothing but make you another identical cog in the machine of society, grinding yet more into shape. Your potential to make a difference is you, all of you. You will never allow yourself to be great if you force yourself to fit in, if you live for others. You are great right now, but the only way that can blossom into something for the world to see, is if you accept your differences and love the person you are. Because who you are, is an entirely unique, amazing person that you don't even know yet, and neither will the world if you don't stop relying on someone else to make you feel beautiful. It's okay to let yourself feel perfect; because you are perfect.
You think to yourself "I have so much love to give, why doesn't anyone want to have it and why is there no one who can love me the same?" Because, sweet thing, people innately have a give, take relationship with the rest of the world. We're drilled with "nothing's free" and to accept all your love is to accept an equal responsibility.
The real truth is, most are not right for you. Most are not born with your heart and compassion. Sure you could make it work with any of them, but it wouldn't be you, you'd be fighting to fit into who they want, and letting your life pass by. You deserve better. "But then why isn't anyone interested in me?" They are! People see you and know you're special, they might want to be with you, but they can see how deep you and your love go, and they realize they don't have that much to give. And they're right. The one that will take your breath away and show you just how special you really are, is special on their own, and special is a rare find indeed.
To be alone is a stage of life we all must master, lest we settle for less and make a decision beyond regrettable. You are beautiful all on your own; your mind, heart and your body, you don't need someone, ANYONE, else to think so to make it true.
I personally have never felt the sensation of a lovers embrace, or a kiss, or a hand to hold. My life's full of imaginations and fantasies of falling in love and finding that perfect companion, but I always thought I was like everybody else, and that around any corner they might be there. That's not the truth though, and for the first time I feel like that faith that I'm going to have a Disney romance, is gone, numbed to unbelievability. Yet, I might be okay to keep all my love inside, as much as I feel like I just need to put it somewhere. I am me, the person I've been building since I could keep a thought to myself, and no one makes me happier, and no one makes me prouder. I will live my life ba<x>sed on my opinions of what I love, and I will find in every moment, all that it has to offer.
I wish I could give you more, but unfortunately you can't accept something you've not earned. But I think you have. You're surviving in a world that's only tried to take from you, and you didn't choose to live here. "Life's not fair" doesn't make it so. You deserve somebody to tell you that you're worth it, that the unique, 'weird' person that you are, is perfect. Nobody gets that, but you don't need to try to please them, they will do nothing but make you another identical cog in the machine of society, grinding yet more into shape. Your potential to make a difference is you, all of you. You will never allow yourself to be great if you force yourself to fit in, if you live for others. You are great right now, but the only way that can blossom into something for the world to see, is if you accept your differences and love the person you are. Because who you are, is an entirely unique, amazing person that you don't even know yet, and neither will the world if you don't stop relying on someone else to make you feel beautiful. It's okay to let yourself feel perfect; because you are perfect.
26-30, M
