I Think Intelligence Can Cause Depression and Isolation

This is not a story.

The clouds of depression are lifting.
Darkness is subsiding thanks to medication I can finally appreciate some simple things with the emotion not just my mind.

It’s good to see the good things.but life it’s better when I can have feelings to match my reality.
I finally found a doctor who is sensible and cares. He listens and understand my reasonings he also stands his ground knowing where to draw the line againsty arguments against the diabetic medical industry I respect him for not denying what I know.

So I’m letting him help me.
He is worthy of my trust. That’s rare. He’s smart.

It would be nice to be free of my angst. To be who I really am.

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rckt148 · 61-69, M

No one likes smart people thats for sure
Not know it all's but someone with a little common sense
just a tad of experience how life works ,
I made the mistake of telling doctors I had used alcohol and pain meds not prescribed to me for pain
It took me 20 yrs to get drug seeker out of my records
only after a doctor going to shut me up once and for all so he ordered a full body MRI ,,he was not expecting what he got
Now there is a letter on file against him from a highly accredited pain specialist ,,asking how blind can they be
Treating me for drug abuse and mental illness when my problem was physical all along
12 decompressed discs and both knees bone to bone is not in your head
They made me suffer needlessly ,,but thats ok
I am getting the help I need now ,he is only sorry it took me so long to come to him ,,he could have been legally helping me all along
It sucks when you know your body ,you like to work
your not seeking disability you have been 100% a long time
They give meds to people who don't need them
and try to make the ones who do look like addicts

I also said I had been clean and sober since 1994
I was still labeled "High risk" no Narcotics

Mindful · 56-60, F

Amazing you had to go thru this! Drs don’t know it all. About 7 years ago I had to stop taking what one of my Drs was prescribing just so that I could think clearly and function at work! Weird. Not every doctor really cares.@rckt148

rckt148 · 61-69, M

@Mindful Yea I can relate .the antidepressants and other meds they had me on made me fall asleep driving a car
I would get lost in thought and the next thing I know everyone is screaming at me and crying .
My girlfriend was in college but she refused to drive (to many family and friends killed in car wrecks )
So I had to have her sister ride with me to keep me awake ,at home I just sit there slumped over ,fast asleep
I threw all that crap they had me on away and went back to fighting to be heard ,
They were determined to make me admit I was an addict ,then they would treat me with antiabuse meds that actually help with pain too ,but you have to admit your an addict to get in the program ,,I refused .
I have many friends in law enforcement (I ran a pawn shop and every cop and detective in the country has bought guns from me ) they warned me if I ever admitted I had any kind of mental issues or addictions I would loose my CCW permit to carry to keep fighting .
After I finally did a self referral at a civilian pain group and was accepted (I have MRI's from 2013 and new ones from last December )The Va pain management admitted they know I must be in hell ,,but I still needed to get in the drug program ,,eventually the pain clinics are all going to be shut down ,,
I now have a CDC/DEA fedral control number
I don't get any crap any where with my script
Has my diagnoses on it and my control number ,my doctor has more degrees then any doctor I have ever seen at the VA
Surgery ,Pain Blocks ,Rehabilitation therapy,thats all he does is pain ,,you need a shrink ,,they have them in house too ,but my doctor is one of the leading doctors in the country for spinal cord injury ,,he is not just a pill pusher ,,he is the real deal
All I have to do is mention the VA and he goes to cussing about how some of them should be in jail for making me suffer like that ,that even convicts get better treatment ,,
I laugh and say I know ,,my brother the con has been laughing at me for years ,,he gets pain meds and was in prison for obtaining narcotics by fraud ,his wife was a nurse ,,they wrote their own scripts ,18 yrs for being a repeat offender ,,and he still get 30 mg oxycodone ,tests positive for THC every month and his doctor jokes with him about his medial card ,,,they just passed it in Florida allowing you to smoke for pain ,,but he does not have a card ,,its all a joke to him ,,its not a joke to me this issue has ruined my life to a degree ,,all because I was always told to tell your doctor everything ,,
If you ever had a drug or alcohol problem and its not already in your records ,,that is the dumbest thing you could ever do ,,that is all they hear from then out
Your doing anything you can to obtain narcotics ,your an addict ,,no such thing as a recovered one

Mindful · 56-60, F

I’ve been to ER and because of my diabetes been treated as if I’m an addict because I guess test results of the liver can look similar? I don’t know I just know I’m not an addict at all. It was disappointing to be Mis judge and mistreated.im impressed you kept your integrity and glad you found good care! @rckt148

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