I Hate My Relationship

I had a bad eating disorder when I first met my boyfriend. It was terrible but at least I was pretty. Now I've gained so much weight I doubt I would ever find someone else to love me if i left him. Thats only one of the reasons i wont leave him no matter how much I want to. The other is that I have nowhere to go and I don't make enough money at the job I have to support myself alone. I need to get another job but I'm so comfortable with the one I have(even though I do hate it) I'm scared to get another one or quit. And I'm so unmotivated to do anything. I can barely take a shower much less go apply or go to an interview.