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I Will Write A Letter I Will Not Send

I will write all the things i wanted to say to you but of [b][/b]course I couldn't really send it to you since we stopped talking. I'd just pretend I'm talking to you directly..
Maybe it will help me ease the pain and maybe, ease the letting go.

(PS. Hi y'all, you don't have to comment on this post as this is just my brain dump. Thanks 😬)
I've written a letter for you.
For you to read it but i decided to just throw it away because it's not important anymore. I can vent and rant anything i wanna say to you but it's pointless now.. Youve made your decision and it's time for me to decide for myself. I'm just tired of this never ending feeling of defeat. I'm tired of asking myself what happened to you, to us? Wait, was there really an [b]Us[/b]?!
Silly me. I'm just hurting myself with my expectations. 🤦🏻‍♀️
I.. i finally realized what i really meant to you. A friend. Just somebody. And it was just me who went overboard and thought that there's already something between us. Crazy, right? 🤔
I mean, I'm sure you didn't mean when you say that you like me right? 🤔 Like, when you said you're gonna teach me how to climb or how to drive and those things like watching a movie and stuff. You didn't mean that right? Im so sure of it. 🤷🏻‍♀️
Silly, silly me..
We're just strangers who got bored and went on with it. Its all fun and games until someone falls, and that idiot would be me. Yey me.
Id wanna add that i still care about you, but naahh. It's not like you would too, right? 🤔
Anyways, this is getting long and boring..

So yeah, this is me letting all this shits go. You've already move on to whatever it was so i probably need to. You said i have to overcome it so here i am trying my bestest 💪🏻!


So yeah, Have a nice life.
Merry Christmas. Happy New Year.
Happy Valentine's day.
Happy Easter. Happy fourth of July.
Happy everything.
Take care. Ily.
Goodbye.
1119
I thought of you today. You know the other day i had a dream about you. I forgot to write it down when i woke up so i don't quite remember what it was now 🤔😬.
I know it's been a while and I'm still not over you, i should be tho. But I'm still stubborn and full of what ifs - what if you're just waiting for me to reach out? Or what if you're just so busy with your life now that you have no time for anything else but work etc. Idk why i still do these things to myself. Silly me. Oh well, one day. One day it'll be over.
I hope you're doing well.
K.
[quote]“I am waiting for you to ask me how I have been so that I can tell you that I’ve been sick and ill and cranky but mostly so that I can tell you that I am heartbroken over you, that I hate it when you ask for my advice to talk to her, that I love you but I hate you too, that there are nights when I can’t sleep and I imagine things that are never going to happen and then the next night I imagine the same things and destroy the ending just to ground myself, that I am trying to forget you but also remember you for eternity, that I am tired of comparing every guy with you, that I miss talking to you about the Universe, about faith, about humanity, about movies and shows and about people and your friends, but mostly I just miss you and I miss the adrenaline rush I got during our arguments”[/quote]
[quote]We were never official. You loved me only in private and I loved you in discreet. My heart pounds like thunderstorm and yours can only whisper. Sometimes I wonder if I were even enough to be adored like I am loved and forget that I was placed only in the corners almost often overlooked. I want to be the one you marvel at a little longer and steal a few glances more, the one you'd tell your friends about while the glitters in your eyes dance. I want my name to be spoken like a promise putting the stars to shame. But there was not an us and I was never in the position to ask. We were never really in love and I was not entitled to hope.

We never made it to being official, but why does my heart break so loud it sounded like a thousand explosions and we could call it a thousand names but love.
– Aly Hiraeth

[/quote]
[quote]“I am in love with you and you are not in love with me. But I know I’ll be okay with it, not today, not tomorrow, not in a year, not in a decade, maybe not ever. So maybe I’ll be okay or maybe I won’t, but that’s okay too. Just cos I love you doesn’t mean you love me too”
— My love for you is a dead end road and I am learning to be okay with that // JustScribbledWords

[/quote]
112619

Hey. Just wondering how you've been?? Me, I've been trying to avoid you. Been trying to resist the urge to look at your profile to see how you're doing. But I failed.. I keep looking at it and it seems like you aren't really that active online.
Been resisting messaging you. Im scared.
So scared that one day it will be just a memory. Idk.
But old, be safe.
K
Hey. Talking to is one of my happiest moments. But the feelings i have for you is still there, i know i know i have to move on. Thats why I'll try my best to avoid you as much as possible. I have to let you go now. 😕
[quote]“i want to fall in love with other people but i don’t want to get over you”
— can i do both please? // JustScribbledWords

[/quote]
Hello. How are you today?
Oh how i wish i could tell you everything that happened to me these past few days. I miss you.
There was never any [b]us[/b]. I should really remember that. I should be really moving on with my life and i should stop thinking of you.
I'm mad, sad, annoyed and pissed off because of this.. Idk how you can fall asleep knowing that you break someone's heart like this. 😒😩
Saw you again today and told myself that i should avoid talking to you again. Until i have no feelings left.
We ended before we could even start and that’s what broke my heart the most
Missing you doesn’t hurt as much as knowing you don’t miss me does
You're the one i always look for in a crowded place.
Do you have any idea how stupid you made me feel? 😔😭
Idk why i still think about you. 🙄😢
Wherever you are, I hope you're okay.
Help me get over you, please.
I'm detaching.. Slowly..
Alright. I should stop.
Hi. I miss you

 
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