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I Am Conflicted

I'm a Christian who talks the talk and walks the walk. But while I believe and trust in Jesus, I must admit that I have major issues with God (the Father). I do not think highly of God, and my distainful feelings towards Him often border on hate. It's strange to dedicate your life to something that you intensely dislike. I wish that I had more peace in my beliefs. I wish that I could that God was truly good, and that He truly is merciful and caring, and that He has my best interest in mind, but it just doesn't add up that way......

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Brenton · 36-40, M

@SoulAsylum
I suppose it's because I decided a long time ago to follow the truth no matter how unpleasant it might be. I'm convinced that what I believe is the truth, even if it's not what I want it to be.

I spent years objectively sifting through fact and fiction, and the evidence has led me to where I am now.If I were to attempt to believe something else just to make myself happy, I'd be living a lie.

I also believe that there are dire consequences in the afterlife for not following God, so it wouldn't be worth it in the long run. Perhaps in time, I'll come to terms with the aspects that I don't like...