I Am Conflicted

I'm a Christian who talks the talk and walks the walk. But while I believe and trust in Jesus, I must admit that I have major issues with God (the Father). I do not think highly of God, and my distainful feelings towards Him often border on hate. It's strange to dedicate your life to something that you intensely dislike. I wish that I had more peace in my beliefs. I wish that I could that God was truly good, and that He truly is merciful and caring, and that He has my best interest in mind, but it just doesn't add up that way......