I Am Conflicted
Fight or Flight?
I am torn between the two. I am conflicted. I don't know what I want anymore. I don't know what I should do anymore. I don't know what's best for me anymore.
An unfortunate side-effect of this path that I have chosen is that I'll still have to be here for another while. I still have to live among the wreckage of my former life. I'm still haunted by all that could have been. I still have to endure the pain of seeing you. I thought time would heal the pain and bring certainty... Clarity. It hasn't. I am no more confident in my decision to leave than I was when I made it.
Now you have invited me back into your life - and I am conflicted. Do I choose fight or flight? You were the closest thing I ever had to hapiness. I am afraid that I might never find that again; that you were as good as it gets. Should I stay and fight for the life we could of had? Or should I run far away, in the hopes that this life has something more to offer me?
I guess the decision has already been made for me. But I cannot help but wonder if I'm making a mistake. I would give everything for some peace of mind.. But I am starting to believe that hapiness and peace of mind were never meant for me.
I am torn between the two. I am conflicted. I don't know what I want anymore. I don't know what I should do anymore. I don't know what's best for me anymore.
An unfortunate side-effect of this path that I have chosen is that I'll still have to be here for another while. I still have to live among the wreckage of my former life. I'm still haunted by all that could have been. I still have to endure the pain of seeing you. I thought time would heal the pain and bring certainty... Clarity. It hasn't. I am no more confident in my decision to leave than I was when I made it.
Now you have invited me back into your life - and I am conflicted. Do I choose fight or flight? You were the closest thing I ever had to hapiness. I am afraid that I might never find that again; that you were as good as it gets. Should I stay and fight for the life we could of had? Or should I run far away, in the hopes that this life has something more to offer me?
I guess the decision has already been made for me. But I cannot help but wonder if I'm making a mistake. I would give everything for some peace of mind.. But I am starting to believe that hapiness and peace of mind were never meant for me.
31-35, F