Am I too petty? My boyfriend (M29) invited me (F28) to his birthday dinner with his family. He...

I don't understand any of this. If I invite you out, (my Birthday or yours) I would be paying, since I invited you out.

LadyBronte · 56-60, F

Perhaps they don't have the money to pay for everyone. Doesn't mean they don't want to, might just be circumstances. They may be feeling awkward about it too but not sure what else to do. You said your boyfriend invited you, not his parents and they may not have counted on that - plus that his mother isn't making much money. As I said, could be they just can't afford it. If you can't go and be happy to be there despite the circumstances, then stay home and celebrate the next day. It might be taking all their extra money just to do the birthday dinner for their son.

SW-User

in Asia no self respecting man will make a girl pay for his own birthday party lmao
I heard in the West everyone pays for their own part but not Asia

eyeno · M

IMHO: Just go with the flow and blow it off, its no big deal after all its His birthday to honor and celebrate.

If your family can afford to pay for guests if honoring you for your birthday than your very, very fortunate.

btw: if taking him out to celebrate his birthday again just the two of you, which I think is very personal as well as romantic, then its on you.

Times are tough all over.

HannibalAteMeOut · 22-25, F

This is weird because in my mind the norm is that when it is your birthday, you are the one who pays for everyone's dinner (since everyone has brought you a gift, it's like something mutual). Now if someone has financial difficulties to the point where they can't pay for a night out then I don't get why they'd invite people in the first place. He could have chosen something a bit more humble.

TheBlackPowerRanger

Chivalry is so dead

InOtterWords · F

All I can say is that he is being upfront with the situation and you are not the only one having to pay your way.

His mum is obviously weighing up the desire of a family get together and being able to afford the whole meal.

I think it is not too much to pay your own way for this meal, and if you feel you cannot afford it then tell your bf .

Nanori · F

That's very low of an Asian man

Eidolon · M

There is 'being invited to partake' and there is 'being invited to mutually host'. It's only the latter that can translate to some financial contribution, and then too, an amount agreed upfront.

The invitation must be emphatically understood before it is accepted/rejected.

Oster1 · M

No, you are not being petty at all. He should have paid for you. If his Mother could not afford to pay, that is totally understandable. Actually, this is embarrassing and would make me question some things.

DownTheStreet · 56-60, M

He’s a loser if you have to pay in any caseworker

SW-User

No, you're not the petty one here.