I lost a lot of beloved people in my life... First my grandmother when I was in senior high. I was her favorite grandchild. Lung cancer took her away.
Then my father died of stroke when I was 18. He may not be the perfect father but I was a daddy's girl.
Nine years ago, it was my mom. She took care of me when my marriage failed. She gave me strength to carry on. She was the sun in my darkest hour. At 75, I can let her go because I cannot witness her agony in the hospital for long...though there's a void in my heart.
The worst, before this year ends...my brother. He's in his 40's. Still young with a promising career but he did not survive from a heart attack. I still cry everyday. We were inseparable. I miss his emojis in text messages. I miss our banter. When I had problems,he'd sense it. I never had to call him. He'd just knock on my door bringing drinks to my house. He'd make me laugh over my worries first with his quirky jokes before helping me to resolve them.
This was the most painful because he's the only shoulder I can depend on after all the passing that we went through. I don't know if it's a curse or what...I lost all the people who loved me back... Now I stand all alone.
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