I Have a Brother
My brother was born close enough to St Patricks Day that Patrick is his middle name,so I'll call him "P Bookerdana"
I don't know how the Saint felt about it but my middle name was my maternal grandfathers name. He was UNDERWHELMED..
Though only three years apart I remember the hub-bub as the day grew nigh...my mother was taking a bath and my grandmother was knocking on the door telling her she'd drown the baby.
Is that even possible?
Anyway ,in the fullness of time he was brought home. I think on the day after my mom asked me if I wanted to see him.....
She led me into the bedroom carefully nestling him up so I could see...."Isn't he beautiful?"
Now,what with her looking so beatific and happy I nodded. Looked like a baby to me!The three Bookerdana brothers shared one large room till our palatial upstairs suite was built,two bedrooms,walk in closet and bathroom. We would be told from time to time to "clean up" that Place!
We scrambled but my mom who came from a family of five brothers was an old campaigner- and found all the stuff we hastily threw in the toy chest>.drat!
Really my mom was unflappable and one morning when we had emptied four HUGE FAMILY boxes of cereal into bowls (to get the prizes) she breezed by saying,Put it back in the boxes when you're done!
Upstairs was ours and we devised many sports and unorthodox games. As long as it didn't sound like the ceiling was about to cave in everything was copacetic..
Many nights would lay on our beds smoozing,throwing rubber balls (well most of the time) at the ceiling and catching the ricochet in our gloves.
We ere roomies,and a friend many years later told me how lucky I was.."even if the whole block was mad at you ,you still had someone to play with..hmm,true.
We swapped records on the turntable,my Alice Cooper for his Beach Boys live.
My friend accepted him as an equal on the gridiron in our teens;he was nearly tall as I was (and I was tall) and had good coordination.
P was what my mom called a gentlemans "C" student..goodenuv,Boris!
But his interests outside the class room ranged from Greek mythology and history,Roman and American and his chess uncommonly good
Still there are things about a bro one never considers...one warm Friday coming home from school I found the house crowded to the rafters with a gaggle of HS coeds..The Babe Magnet had come of age! Even my cousins were gaga over him! Who knew..
If I say I played Dom to his Joe DiMaggio look up Doms statistics,lest you get the wrong idea! But theres only one Jolting Joe.
He had an active dating career playing the field through Junior College. But girls would come up to him as a friend and ask dating advice as he shot baskets in the gym.
Oh ,P I don't know what to do ,Johnny doesn't take me seriously. (kathunk in the basket)
Get TOUGH! he'd say,Don't be a doormat!
So basic but it worked for them..
But when he went off finish his education he only had eyes for one lass. Since he boarded they mostly saw each other on weekends.
Five days after his graduation,tradgedy intervened and my father collapsed and died over an agonizing four day period in IC.
Sometimes the most profound truths can only be expressed simply:things were never the same
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And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return we can only look
Behind from where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game
Fifteen months later my brother married his love "Ike" in a Mass and Marriage ceremony performed by my uncle Fr FX Bookerdana. It was a real family affair.
He had asked my mother for her blessing and she after hugging him asked that he wait one year. Ikes sister did one "reading" and my mother the other.
My older brother J bookerdana served as "best man"
When they exchanged vows,my brother said his" I do" in the hushed formal manner often seen in Church but Ike usually, reserved, declared her affirmation in a loud determined voice that might well have filled The Cathedral of Notre Dame in Paris ,France . Everyone applauded both in surprise and appreciation; she left no doubt about her feelings!
The reception was beautiful,but I'm a secret sentimentalist,and enjoy weddings in general: the women always look so beautiful,the men resigned and little girls dance with each other in exuberant joy. :)
Life was good to P and Ike,who in relatively short time now owned a very large house with a large underground pool. It seemed a shame to waste such a large space so they soon filled the empty rooms with three children EM,DP,and C Bookerdana, in birth order,the middle one a boy.
Their home was also the site of many incredibly lavish bashes,the blender keeping time with the music. In the summer he simply put the speakers in the windows.
All their High School friends were there as well as the families.
I remember on one occasion his eldest daughter said,"Daddy,dance with me!"
She was still only a little shaver so he put her shoes on his as Procul Harem's Whiter Shade of Pale played.
He feigned bemusement saying,"I remember dancing to this at my High School dances!" Cha-cha cha.....!!!
Time passes quickly,P was pursued by "headhunters"and we met less often sometimes catching a bite at the local Friendlys,or for a baseball or football game.
His youngest,C wanted to see Hanson and Pixie Patrolhe told me quickly donning his Charlie Brown,"I'm doomed " face.
He enjoyed the concert, or so he said.Better him than me.He encouraged his daughters to try sports ,believing it instilled confidence. Participation was optional but he did have them try hitting a T ball...The oldest loved it and went from softball to soccer,and finally was the captain of her collegiate crew team. C opted out and DP,my nephew needed no encouragement.
If everything seemed idyllic there were storm clouds ahead . One day he visiting me at my digs he related that Ike was having a lumbar puncture {spinal tap.} for a differential diagnosis.
There were two possibilities,one very treatable ,the other very bad. He refused to elaborate.
It was the bad one,Multiple Sclerosis.
At first it was not evident but at our christmas celebration a little later she literally dropped into my lap.
"Why hello gorgeous,I beamed,we gotta stop meeting like this!
But a cane folloed and then a wheelchair. She has never had a remission.
Many things came about,some quite ugly. The friends who used to gladly attend their parties now had no time even to phone. She was an "unperson",I guess.
P had to divesify and ad cooking ,cleaning aand shopping to his routine. The kids,too took up the slack in as many ways as humanly possible.
My younger "former roomie" who had passed out many times when having blood drawn,now learned to givee injections..
One day Ike quoted a magazine article showing the large percentage of husbands who deserted their wives who has MS.
"What has that got to do with me?" he inquired
So I honor my brother today,on his birthday. He was a tolerable looking baby,a good roomate and a fine man.
House,MD got it wrong,everyone doesn't lie.
